When I first joined a certain fandom here I hit it off well with a bunch of new friends. We used to go to chatrooms every night and RP on them. It was awesome. Problem is when I invited a girl I roleplayed with a lot and was the first person to ever interact with my blog, it slowly went downhill. She was friendly, but she was also very stubborn and persistent. She wanted to roleplay ALL the time. She doesn’t back down when she wants fun.
I’m a submissive personality, so I just… let it happen to me. She can be funny, and trust me she’s a good writer with some good roleplay abilities, but lately I heard she has technically almost borderline manipulated someone a long time ago. Some of my friends are not very fond of her. She used to try to bring her muse to the center of attention in the beginning during roleplays, and her character even ended up committing suicide from something he did(thanks to our type of fandom he was brought back to life and all is fine with him now, I think??). I don’t mess with people’s character development, so I didn’t say anything, and left way before it happened.
Now I don’t even think she knows she did anything wrong. She knows people are not happy when she enters the chatroom, some even opt on leaving. She’s upset. I’m tired of keeping things from her, but I’m also tired of her constantly pestering me to roleplay(not that she doesn’t come up with the thread ideas, she does a lot of multi-muse things). I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I’m already feeling like uber crap because of everyone just not liking her(which is understandable), but because I’d rather just not interact with anybody out of character except for one other person because our group is just falling apart. It’s sort of bringing stress on my thought process and kind of making me feel depressed.
What do I do?
Now, what I would do and what you may choose to do may be two different things, so I’m going to try and offer you options here.
IF IT WERE ME I would honestly stop roleplaying with her altogether. If she has a way of making the atmosphere toxic anytime she enters the room, and people just want to leave when she’s around, do not like her, etc. that’s a red flag.
However, I wouldn’t stop roleplaying with her without letting her know the problem.
Here is what I would say:
I think we need to talk as there has been a lot on my mind lately. First and foremost, I want you to know that I am not here to hurt your feelings. That’s not what I’m intending to do, though there are some things that need to be address. I don’t appreciate it when you constantly ask me to roleplay. I have other things I’d like to do, other people I would also like to talk to, and I think it’s a little disrespectful that you aren’t mindful of my time and other things I may want to do. Now, concerning the group. A lot of people are unhappy with the way that you constantly attempt to spotlight your character and have all the attention on them (give examples here, especially the one you mentioned). Also, it has been said that you have manipulated partners in the past. All of this has turned people away, and it’s beginning to really stress me out in real life—something I do not need. That being said, I feel that it’s time we separate as partners, as I no longer want to continue roleplaying with you.
It’s blunt and flat. It lays everything on the table and explains everything that’s been happening. I’d feel free to add whatever you feel is necessary.
Option two is basically the same paragraph minus the end where you stop being partners if you’re still interested in roleplaying with this person. However, given the type of personality you’ve described, I don’t think she’s going to take it very well, and you may have to block her until she cools down.
Maybe before all of this, consult with your friends in the group you’re comfortable talking with and get their opinion on the matter as well. I’m sure they’ll support you in whatever you decide.
I hope this helps!