snowleopard!bond

  • Emma:"she asked me to help her."
  • David:"alright..."
  • Emma:"She said she needed me."
  • David:"well that's a good thing, right?"
  • Emma:"dad, she means she needs me to help her rescue her soul mate from her insane sister's clutches."
  • David:"oh... that's unfortunate."
  • Snow:"what's going on here?"
  • David:"oh you know, i'm just helping our daughter go through unrequited love."
  • Snow:*gasps* "unrequited love? with whom?"
  • Emma:"regina mills, your ex-nemesis."
  • Snow:*stammers* "wh-wh-what?"
  • David:"our daughter's gay and is in love with regina, honey. get over it."
legenda p foto de festas

O boato é que nosso bonde é foda! 🔫👯😈

Nóis é os pika de verdade, hoje não tem pra ninguém 💣💸🔞

Porque de segunda a segunda, ha!, é nóis nas festas 👯👏🏻🔞💥

Somos o amor deles (as) e o terror dos recalcados! 💥

Admirados por muitos e odiado por uns otários 🚫👑

Se tu for educada (o), tem pra tu e pra tua amiguinha (o) 😂👌🏻💥

E fala pra geral, chama as amiga!! 🎉👌🏻🆘👑

Tem a loira, a morena, a branquinha e a pretinhaa 🎉🔫😂

Essa mina ela é loca, ela faz coisas absurdass 😏🔞

Ela é top, capa de revista, é a mais maisss 😘💅🏻

Onde ela chega, rouba a cena, deixa os mlk babando 😍😈

Hoje eu to querendo te pegar denovo! #remembertatendo 😂😘

Ligeira, pena que o pai não tá na pista de bobeira 😉🔞😎

Enquanto mil falam de mim, roubo a cena ⚠️🔝

Cafajeste, cafa cafajeste um brinde! 🍻💥

O importante no momento é só manter o copo cheio 🍺⚡️

Onde nois chega, nois causa
alvoroço 🍁🔞😂

O role de ontem foi embaçado, não é a toa que hoje eu acordei meio enjoado 🍻😈🔫✌🏻️

• Oi meus amô! Tava inspirada e amei essas legendas 😈 Espero que usem, se pegarem dêem notinha ai! Façam pedidos na ask!

TT: @biaroyole e @PRAYFORGRAMMY

Insta: @ffuckloves e @biancaoyole

Mil beijocas, vamo que vamo que hoje tem ONZE:20!!!

You are a cow during the Renaissance.  The sun falls on the rolling green hills of your pasture. To the east is a country lane surrounded by hedges. To the north is a low stone wall and a shallow brook.  There are forests to the south and west.
>Go north
You go north. It’s a warm day, you could use some water. Unfortunately for you, and for the future of cattle farming in the region, a boa is lurking behind the wall, driven from its home in Italy by its thirst for milk. It attacks.
You have been drained of milk and eaten by a 100 foot snake. Try again? Y/N
>Y
The pasture again. A gentle breeze stirs the grass and rustles in the hedges.  You can go east, west or south.
>Go east
The hedge is full of salamanders.  One of them jumps out and drinks your milk.
You have lost the ability to produce milk.  
The path you are on leads east. There are forests to the south and west.
>Go east
You have gone too far east. There is no grass.  There is nothing living. The ground is covered in dead lemmings. You have made a huge mistake.
>Go back
You return to the hedge. The salamanders are not interested in you now that you can no longer produce milk. They twine around nearby apple trees, poisoning the fruit. There are forests to the south and west.
>Go west
You see a duck.  For some reason this makes you feel better. Your wounds are all healed and you have regained the ability to produce milk.

Fake text-adventures about cows are the content you’re all here for, right? Fun facts: looking at a duck really was believed to cure cows of internal pain. And in addition to giant boas and salamanders, cows also had to watch out for hedgehogs, adders and vipers, all of which would try to steal their milk. They would also apparently fight bloodthirsty cow wars with rival herds, unless they were fed garlic to quell their anger.

please get along this time