snarker

Harrison was making snarky statements about his near-fatal stabbing about 24 hours after it happened. And according to his friend Eric Idle, as the bloodied Harrison was being taken away by EMTs in the immediate aftermath of the attack, he happened to catch sight of a groundskeeper he had hired only a week earlier. Reportedly George deadpanned, “So, how do you like the job so far?”

Back at the Dirty Robber, Jane and Maura are discussing the case when they notice some dudebros secretly rating women as they walk in the door. How precious, sexism. What fun. Jane says they should give them a “thrill” and the ladies offer up their own ratings. Clearly, those scores are for each other. Because those guys are 4s, and that is being very generous.

“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (4.07): Who let the beards out?

A small wooden ornamented box appears in front of a young man’s door. He seems to be in his mid-thirties, with a beard and fluffy hair.
He knew it would appear there because it did so every year…
And the content was always simple, albeit assorted and thoughtful
Something was different this year though he thought as he looked up…
… had been different in the last few days already…
Something was missing and now he realised what it was…


Since a good two thousand years, every year in december, there had been a bright star high above Heaven, glowing with the warmth and brightness of love and family…
It would first shine subtle and increase its luminosity over the course of days until this very night, blazing like a beacon of hope…
Like it had done it every year around this time, since it did it the first time roughly 2000 years ago…
The inhabitants of Heaven had probably grown so used to it that they barely noticed it anymore…

But this year… the sky above Heaven was empty…

It was two weeks before the Metatron’s dreams were breached again. Rather than his usual entrance, however, the demon more or less crawled inside, pale and tired, and headed for the bed, watching emotionlessly for a moment and proceding to shove at the angel’s backside with his foot.

"Scootch over, it’s freezing out here." The demon pulled back the covers of the bed and stepped into it, hogging more than his fair share of the sheets, shivering a bit. "So." An open end to the sentence starter, daring the Metatron to start their conversation.

And we all celebrate because this means Jane and Maura can continue their not-so-secret relationship unabated while the rest of the oblivious world will go along thinking they’re just best friends who are constantly having breakfast at each other’s places, sleeping in each other’s beds, buying motorcycles with sidecars for each other, promising to raise and protect each other’s future children and letting their mother-in-laws live in their homes. Yeah, totally normal friend stuff. Sure. *Wink* I’ll drink to that.
— 

Dorothy Snarker: Rizzoli & Isles Subtext Recap 5X05 (X)

And this is exactly why Rizzles is such a prominent part of the show, as much as TNT wishes it wasn’t. What a missed opportunity this whole show is, but I’ll take what I can get

Oh, Janet Tamaro. Why you gotta do us like this? Of all the crappy cliffhangers, this is by far the crappiest. But you know what? I refuse to be defeated by this. I refuse to back down. I know I said if Jane got pregnant I was O-U-T. But, believe it or not, I actually think this can be salvaged. But first, there needs to be a will to salvage it.

You see, the reason this show works is very, very simple. It’s not the mysteries. It’s not the plots. It’s definitely not the writing. It’s the camaraderie and chemistry between Angie Harmon and Sasha Alexander on screen. Period, full stop. We watch because there are two strong, smart female characters working together who work well together. And, sad to say, that’s still too much of a rarity on TV.

(( 5000 actually, but what you’re referring to probably happened around 50.000 years ago. Mankind has changed a lot in the last 5000 years but not THAT dramatically. At least not dramatically enough to stumble over it. If they actually knew what to search for, perhaps. Since they don’t expect him to be more than your average guy who got mugged, stripped and stabbed, they’re probably not going to see anything like that… Though there are things that they are bound to run into… ))

He was intubated and hooked up to two blood bags already.
Little electrodes checking his heart and pulse.
One of those typical sickish-hospital-green sheets had been thrown hastily over his lower torso and legs.
They had been rather busy and quick, but slowly the haste was calming down. The situation had seemed urgent and lethal.
Then suddenly more relaxed, until someone rushed in with a quick note from the lab and the bustling began anew.
They ordered more blood bags.

They didn’t like how his blood flew, they didn’t like how it settled at the wounds and they didn’t like how it looked.
They were surprised about the wounds though. Those looked as if the healing process had already set in a few days ago.

- Thanks to Asmodeus’ and Gabriel’s work… -

They expected him to bleed severely considering how slowly his blood clotted. But it could barely be called leaking or seeping.
It was confusing, but something that worked to their advantage and therefore examining the cause could wait for later.
Even the bloodloss was a positive thing in this case, if they kept giving him blood transfusion, they were going to prevent further damage.
At least for now.
There were some questions though, concerning the treatment…

The nurse listened to the instructions one of the ‘Gods in white’ gave her.
Then she approached that man who had come with the patient. He looked like he was going to collapse any minute himself so she offered him a chair and a glass of water.

"Sir?" she said with a calm voice. "We can’t seem to reach Mr. Allens’ brother, the one who made the emergency call." 
Apparently she expected him to know whom she was talking about.
"You have been asked a lot of questions already today. And I know this is not easy for you, Sir. But is there anything else you can tell us about Mr. Allens or his relatives? It may seem like a strange question, but is it possible that someone in his family is from South-east Europe, the Middle East or Africa, Mr… uhm… I’m sorry I must have overheard your name..?”
She made a break to let it sink in a bit with him before continuing.

But don’t worry, deluded straight audiences, it’s totally not gay to notice and comment on the size of your “best friend’s” miniature model chest vis-à-vis her real chest. It’s not like Jane knows the exact “form and balance” of Maura’s chest intimately and can speak to their perfection from experience. Please, continue believing they are “best friends” who sleep in each other’s beds, plan to raise a baby together and are constantly making each other breakfast.
— 

-Dorothy Snarker: Rizzoli & Isles Subtext Recap 5x06 (X

Her recaps could be the best thing about this show.

A while back...

He was laying on the bed.
He was stiff as a board and tried to keep his body still.
And though he knew for a fact that his wrists were still restrained.
And though he was relatively sure that he had in fact not shifted an inch.
Everything was spinning.
It gave him a sickening feeling in his stomach and a bitter taste in his mouth.
His palms were sweaty and his eyes burnt, he could feel the fabric sticking tight and humid to his skin.
And the air he sucked in hungrily did not help much to cool his feverish head down.
He closed his eyes and tried to calm his breathing, tried to relax so he would not completely fall prey to panic.