So, I know I post a lot about me being depressed and complaining about life. I’ve wanted to post about this for awhile because it hits me ever so often and it makes me feel so unbelievably amazing and confident.
When I was in fifth or fourth grade, my mom started taking me to a judo class in Florence. I liked Judo a lot, because it wasn’t about direct strength. It was using your opponent’s weight and body against them. As a small but stout and solid person, judo was fucking perfect for me.
My mother liked to come up with different routes home, always looking for the most efficient route home. She plans for things like traffic lights, left turns, etc. I’ve realized this is how I drive as well. Eventually, her route settled on leaving Florence via Elm St in Northampton.
One night she points across the street to a bunch of houses and goes, “You know, college students live in those houses.”
“What college students?”
“Smith College students.”
And every night after, when we passed those houses, I thought of the college students living in the houses, going to class. I had no clue what kind of college Smith was at that time, but I always envisioned women.
I began to notice a huge modern building on right side of the road as we’d drive into Northampton. Students were in this building awfully late at night. Huge modern windows revealed the students working so diligently on their work.
Their artwork, I began to notice.
And every time we passed that building, I kept wishing to myself, that I could be an art student in that building. Working late at night.
And guess what?
I am an art student who works in that building late at night. I’m an art student who misses the studio spaces. I completed a very important dream of mine, a dream that I never thought I’d be able to follow because “art isn’t going to get you a job.”
I guess I mostly wanted to post this because I spend a lot of time beating myself up for stupid stuff all the time, yet I haven’t given myself much time to celebrate getting someplace in life that I never thought I’d reach in a million years.
And yet here I am.
And I fucking love what I’m doing in the Smith College Art Department. I’m proud of my major decision and I don’t regret my major declaration in the slightest.