(sorry long post)
So after 3 or so months, (my longest relationship so far) my boyfriend broke up with me. He was the first guy I actually had feelings for because the other 3 guys I have dated it was in pure desperation and more like “OMG SOMEONE FINDS ME ATTRACTIVE?! hOlySHit I MUST DATE THEM!” Plus, we had a lot in common and got along well, so it hurts.
But today, I wasn’t sad.
My friends and family are saying I’m handling this well and that’s how I want them to look at me as. “I’m fine” is the mantra of the day. Honestly, I haven’t cried yet because I tend to internalize things until they fade away, and that’s what I plan to do here. Instead, I goofed off with my siblings, laughed to myself at different tumblr posts and slide down the stairs on a mattress. I did lighthearted things to keep myself upbeat and positive. Because of this it will help to slowly mend the little tears in my heart right now.
A break up is a break up and it hurts a bit no matter what. Time heals most wounds and that’s what needs to happen. I am also a firm believer that things happen for a reason. It was meant to be this way and I am accepting of that. Because of the whole thing leading up to the break up I was in a rut, (it doesn’t help that I just got my wisdom teeth out a week ago) I lived in my pajamas, eating like crap and feeling really unmotivated and apathetic. And now because of this relationship chapter closing, I feel as though I need to stand up and shake it off. ( tswift pun not intended.) Tomorrow is a new day. It is also the day where I start eating healthier, doing a little workout everyday and doing something productive/creative everyday.
Honestly, I could isolate myself and listen to sad music and watch sad movies and become depressed very easily but that is not helping anything in my situation, so its time to start anew.
In retrospect, this small relationship really shouldn’t impact me the way it does right now but I feel inspired and motivated to start clean and really start off the summer on the right foot. I need to take care of myself and be happy with myself before I even contemplate any kind of relationship right now. And that’s what I plan to do this summer.
So here’s to this summer, let’s make it a good one.