Who Made The World’s First Gear?

by Michael Keller

First we find out that deep-sea glass sponges were the first to come up with fiber optics, and that there’s is superior to our own. Then we hear that mussels and slugs might make just the right glue for building construction and surgery. The list just keeps growing and growing.

And University of Cambridge researchers announced on Sept. 12 that nature has beat human ingenuity to the punch once again, in one of our most dearly held simple machines: the gear.

It turns out that at least one type of hopping insect, in the genus Issus, developed gears on their hind legs as a means of coupling them when they extend to jump. The planthopper’s gears, which are composed of a curved strip holding 10-12 teeth on each leg, exist only in an immature stage of the insect’s development.

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It is a scientific and mathematical fact that Madonna invented almost every mode of transportation known to mankind. The Beatles, in the contrary, did not invent anything in their lifetimes (unless you count stealing as “inventing”). In fact, these men have built their careers based on what they’ve stolen from The Queen. I know it’s very hard to believe that this group of brainless men could even formulate the thought to plagiarize a patent created exclusively by Madonna. That is why I’ve provided photographic evidence of The Cockroaches copying The Queen’s iconic bi-circular compound machine, commonly known as the bicycle.

1981 Simple Machines Yamaha SR250. My friend Tim and I have been working on this project in the background over the last couple of months. We’re mounting up the aluminum rear fender, controls, and battery box this week then it’s on to wiring and final tuning.  

I’m setting up over the weekend to shoot some proper photos of the completed SR and ‘78 CB750. More pics on the way…

*The SR250 will be on display/for sale at Smith & Butler next week.

Oh my god imagine if Harry came back, but the bullet did cause some damage and he can’t remember Eggsy at all, and Eggsy begins withdrawing because Harry can remember all of them but him.

And Eggsy can’t bare to look at Harry’s impassive look, can’t bear to see no recognition there so, with Merlin’s blessing, he becomes a ghost operative (codename Sheng as that was the name of the forgotten knight in one of the adaptations of the round table).

And Eggsy begins taking the hardest missions, risking his life to keep Harry safe, and he closes his heart to the world because it hurts too much, becoming the perfect agent - a simple, killing Machine.

But one Day the memories start coming back to Harry and when he sees some of the footage of Eggsy he feels incredibly guilty because Eggsy has changed because he couldn’t remember, and now it’s up to him to mend Eggsy’s heart


scrawl - “your mother wants to know” (velvet hammer, simple machines 1993)

directed by norwood cheek; shot on super 8 with the eumig nautica.


It’s hard to believe it’s 22 or 23 years since I was given a slightly murky-sounding advance tape of this album, having never heard the band before, and was completely blown away by it.

I bought the CD as soon as it was released, and that sounded even better. It’s still just as lovely tonight as I type this :)