ok perks of dating me

  1. hella cute
  2. no but 5 real i can cook (like order pizza)
  3. sometimes i wear a shirt with no pants and knee socks
  4. i liek cuddling
  5. i literally have no social life so i have time whenever you want
  6. we can make out while the arctic monkeys play in the background
  7. i probably love you a lot
  8. hella rad
  9. did i mention the knee socks
  10. please

Fic idea where a lonely person sells their soul to Satan to be their friend. And Satan just rolls with it until he realizes at the time of their death he genuinely likes them.

Since he can’t renege on the contract he takes them to Hell and puts them in a high position of power. Demons hardened by millenia of torture now have to answer to a shy, self-conscious, quiet, depressed, lonely person who has unintentionally become Satan’s #1

What if there was an app that gave you the ability to learn how things ended for every bad decision you didn’t make?

  • Like you’re feeling tired and you make the decision to not go to a friend’s party, and right then you get a text saying “Party 9:00-1:00. Fight with Carla at 10:42. Do not talk for three months.”
  • You panic over a test and decide to fake being sick and take it on a make-up day. Your phone buzzes “Chem test at 8:00. Answer 52% of questions right. Parents called.”
  • And one day you oversleep and miss church, only to check your phone and see “Leave house for church at 8:52. Brakes give out. Time of death 8:56.” You just stare at your clock that’s blinking 9:32 and shake.
  • But then, every time you go somewhere, every time you do something, every time you make an important decision and your phone DOESN’T buzz, you can’t help but fear what the consequences of that decision will be.
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