College Humor- Hardly Working: Shrinking Ray

This makes me snicker so hard every time

infamousbloodevoker asked:

Newmann. Shrink ray shenanigans AU

(I couldn’t get this in the 3 sentence format, so have a ficlet)

"And so with this shrink ray, the city will be mine! Mwahahahah!"

"Could your maniacal laughter get more theatrical? We’re the only ones here, you know."

"Aww, spoilsport."

Newt shoves the goggles up his head and grins, “Come on, it’ll be awesome, we’ll shrink them to model village proportions and they’ll agree to anything if he threaten to bounce a basketball on them, I’ll be owning the city by the weekend.”

Hermann scowls, “And why would you even WANT to own it? Nasty, dirty place.”

"Well, for one thing, I can force them to print a retration of that article they wrote in response to your giant robot proposal, the one where they called you insane and got you fired from the university."


"Hey, and we can get them to agree to the giant robot idea! I have to say, that had class."

"… thank you Newton."

"No problem Herms, anything for my favourite mad scientist."

"I am not MAD, Newton! Eccentric, if you must."

"Fine, my favourite eccentric mad scientist. now, all we need is an orbital satellite and we can launch this baby!"

"After building the world’s first shrink ray, I am sure an orbital satellite will pose no problem." Hermann leant in and stole a quick kiss from his favourite supervillian.

Guy I know: “You’re too tall”.


Um…okay. I can fix that…Let me…go grab my shrink ray right now…yeah, that should do it.

Sometimes it hurts what people say about things you can’t change. But despite that, I seriously am thankful for the way God gave me. Just gotta shrug it off.