anonymous asked:

meeting Dan on the streets of London.

“Oh my god I am so sorry” you said as you starred down at your now coffee drenched top. You looked up at the person you had run into and gasped. Holy fudge cakes it’s Dan. Stay calm stay calm stay calm. “No I’m sorry” he said, shifting awkwardly on his feet as he tried to avoiding looking at the now semi-see through top you were wearing. “Uh here, wear this” he said handing you his hoodie. “I couldn’t” He shook his head. “Nope take it.” you blushed and put it on. “I better go,” you said awkwardly, trying to avoid looking like a clingy fan. “Yeah um check the pocket,” he said, motioning towards the pocket of the hoodie. You found a slip of paper inside, a number written on it. You smiled at Dan before running away screaming with joy.

anonymous asked:


Alfie leaned in. Oh my god he thought. What was he doing? I mean really it just a teddy bear but is he really going to spend time kissing stuffed toys? He reached the furry animal. He puckered his lips trying to stay away from the creepy eyes. They starred into his soul and it was quite unsettling. He made contact with the fuzzy material. He felt some fuzz stick to his lips and tickle his nose. He pulled back to sneez. Suddenly something grabbed his arm. “GET BACK HERE ALFIE AND LOVE ME” the teddy bear shouted. Alfie ran out of the room, the teddy bear hot on his tail sobbing out marriage proposals and begging for more.

anonymous asked:

You and Jack, New Years Eve party, both single, almost 12:00am. Go!

We both stood awkwardly as the rest of the party began to pair up. 1 minute to midnight and us singles were left to figure out what to do with ourselves. Jack coughed trying to break the silence that had fallen between us. I grabbed another cookie. “Want one?” I asked Jack. He shook his head. “Your loss,” I mumbled as I finished it off. 30 seconds. Now what? I made a stupid face at Jack, trying to make him laugh as he had suddenly gotten very serious. He chuckled. “I hope you know,” he began as people started to countdown from 10, “I’m gonna kiss you at midnight.” WHAT?! I starred in shock as everyone cheered in the New Year and as Jack suddenly kissed me. 

I ship me and Jack I’m just saying

anonymous asked:

General tsos Chicken vs. Phil Lester

im gonna take this in a totally weird direction

The crowds roared. The arena was filled with chicken lovers and youtubers. In the center, circling each other, were Phil and a piece of chicken. Phil had a fork in one hand and a knife in the other. The chicken had a small toothpick. Phil laughed evilly as he knew the tooth pick was no match for his silver cutlery. He stabbed towards the chicken when suddenly the knife AND the fork got stuck on the chicken piece’s sweet sauce. “What the..?” Phil thought as he now ran defenseless from the crazy chicken piece. He looked towards the stands. He saw Dan was shouting something at him and making hand motions. Of course! Phil turned towards the chicken piece and made a triangle sign over his head. “DIE CHICKEN YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR THE POWER OF TRIANGLES” he shouted. Suddenly the floor opened up, almost swallowing the chicken whole before closing. What? The chicken piece began a series of evil laughter before it looked up. An alien spaceship was floating above him. It grabbed him and took him onboard before returning to the mother planet the end.

anonymous asked:

eye sex with finn harries

You locked eyes with Finn. A cheeky smile fell across his face as he began to use his famous eye sex on you. You smirked, no way was he gonna distract you with a little bit of eye sex. You were gonna win this starring contest. Suddenly a strange look came on Finn’s face. OH MY GOD HE INCREASED THE EYE SEX THIS WAS TO MUCH you though as you passed out.

unpredxctablestars asked:

write about koalas?

The koalas slept. And ate and slept and ate. And slept some more (this happens a lot cause the eucalyptus basically drugs them) Suddenly all their eyes flew open. They climbed down their trees and hoped the fence of the animal park they were located at (lone pine koala sanctuary look its professional&official idk) They wandered out to get a cab and from there flew to Sydney, where they flew to Canberra and took over Parliament. The koalas now ruled Australia.

asstrophile asked:



The majestic cheese grater picked out the squished pieces of cheese from it’s holes (that sounds wrong). A long hard day of rubbing against various items and all it gets in return is possible cheese infections. Peasant cheeses too. No high end cheese that is like a million years old. NOOOOOO this cheese grater got cheddar cheese. yay. There has to be something more. Something better. “Oh my god” the cheese grater thought, “I’m having an existential crisis.” Suddenly the cheese grater looked down. A flyer sat on the counter. ‘Kitchen Council’ it read out in big letters. (sadly Comic Sans sob) But the cheese grater was not discouraged. He ran/hobbled/flew? to the council meeting where he was immediately elected President, until one day he rusted and died THE END

anonymous asked:


this is gonna be bad i can feel it in my bones

i feel like its gonna be monotone heads up


Dan had gotten a splinter. The sharp wood of the pencil he was tightly gripping had broken his skin and lodged itself into the palm of his hand. Dan’s luscious locks framed his face as he stared in horror at the foreign material stuck in his skin, acting like it paid rent. Dan had never had a splinter before. What did he do with it? Now that he looked at it more he didn’t mind it so much. Could he keep it? Name it? 

Suddenly Phil walked in. “What are you doing.”

“Look its a splinter!” Dan shouted extending his hand to Phil

Phil shook his head and walked out of the room leaving Dan with his new splinter friend Herbert. The End.

anonymous asked:

Lazy day with finn

You woke up to the smell of pancakes, your favorite. You climbed out of bed and walked to the kitchen where you saw Finn carefully measuring out the batter and placing it on the pan. You smiled and went over, hugging him. He kissed your forehead. “Wanna have a lazy day?” he asked. You nodded. He swiftly grabbed the pancakes and you both headed over to the couch where you spent the day covered in blankets, laughing, cuddling, watching movies and eating till its was dark out.

anonymous asked:

write about dan stealing a newborn from a hospital

Dan starred down at the small face. Was he really going to do this? Lately he had been wanting something more in life. A baby to look after would definitely be a positive thing in his life. He didn’t know what made him go to the hospital, why no adopt?, but he was there in minutes. His friend worked there so he snuck past the workers, lying about dropping something off. And there he stood. The defenseless baby tuck away in the small crib, surrounded by countless other babies. He could easily take it. 

Dan looked at the side of the crib and saw a name in bold letters: Timothy. Dan knew right away this was the one. He felt a strange connection to the child, like he was meant to protect him and care for him. Dan quickly slid he hands under Timothy, swiftly picking him up and carrying him away from the ward. He went out the back door and made it to his car before he heard sirens. He tucked Tim into a car seat and drove off. He was almost to his house when his phone rang. The caller ID said Sophie. Instantly he picked up. Sophie and her husband had been good friends of Dan’s for years now and they were having their own child as well, only about an hour away.

“Dan,” Sophie cried, “he’s gone. We had the baby, Timothy, but he’s gone” she sobbed.

Dan quickly hung up and slammed his hand against the wheel. Shit.