monsters.

These things, these monsters clawing their way out of the golden cage, which they were locked and condemned to in the belly of tartarus being heavily reinforced by the might of the gods, they are pushing past it. Past the defenses of the powerful sentinels set to keep an eye on their prison. Past all of the witchcraft and spells that curse their very souls, just to get the chance to torture me. I was determined to lock them up so tight, but I forgot that there is always a way out. They will always be able to creep back up and ruin any speck of hope or happiness that I have been trying to desperately cling to. And it’s all because there’s only two things that can make me feel this way. The certainty of uncertainty that i believe i’m being tortured with as a punishment (bravo, sir. it is obviously working very well), and the definite end that comes from closure. These two completely opposite things bring out the monsters, widely accepted as feelings, and rip me to shreds. I still can’t figure out which one elicits more pain, but I can honestly say I don’t want to deal with any of this shit. But if life was easy, i’d be a fucking rock. 

tHIS LOOKS LIKE A JOKE

I JUST

okay first i wanted to make a little animation but then i was like naw and just started coloring this first frame aND I WANTED TO do lighting and stuff and w/e

but this just looks like a parody of itself idk ok it’s my baby sam, me and cas made him up like 3 years ago and also he has a friend named gram who is a bat and they live on some other planet where the buses are woolly mammoths and they’re ruled by a wise dragon guy i think (who lives in the mountains in the background???)

so yeah this is sam and he’s a florist, he’s a monster and the rest of his family likes doing monster things like being scary but he just likes flowers

also he is a little lonely bUT ONLY A LITTLE because this isnt allowed to get deep right

gram just goes and plays world of warcraft on his own at the coffee shop a little too often

and sam can’t go in the coffee shop (him and the owner got some beef)

so sam maybe just thinks gram goes there on purpose

yUP DAMN I KNEW I SHOULDN’T HAVE STARTED TYPING GOODBYE

The need for perfection is tearing me apart.

It makes me feel worthless when they say my best isn’t good enough.

You’re not trying.

You’re not trying hard enough.

You need to learn that being here isn’t going to be easy.

Learn manners. 

Grow up.

I’m going to go insane from these rediculous expectations. I can’t think, work, sleep with all this shit hanging over my head. Two faced adults who really don’t care about me. And being alone is a forgein place. 

I shouldn’t have done this. I’m too young. 

I don’t regret it, yet. But then again, it’s just the begininng and already so much bad has happened. 

I never thought the one thing that was once keeping me alive would become so deadly. How did I end up like this? How did I get here? 

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