shit-post

  • what she says:im fine
  • what she means:in the popular cartoon show SpongeBob SquarePants on Nickelodeon, the main character SpongeBob is a fry cook. the restaurant he is employed at, the Krusty Krab, is widely known in Bikini Bottom, mostly for its krabby patties. the Krabby Patty is a famous under-the-sea burger which many fish from Bikini Bottom enjoy. it has been revealed that the basic ingredients in this burger are hamburger, lettuce, onions, tomatoes with cheese, sea pickles, mustard, ketchup, and of course the secret formula. however, in the episode "I'm Your Biggest Fanatic", we are introduced to Kevin the Sea Cucumber, the leader of a group called the Jelly Spotters. it is stated throughout the duration of the episode multiple times that Kevin is a Sea Cucumber. now, one of the Krabby Patty's main ingredients is sea pickles. as it is up here on land, we must assume that sea pickles are just pickled sea cucumbers. what does this mean for Kevin? was Kevin murdered off camera to be used as an ingredient in the Krabby Patty? if, in this show, sea pickles are alive, have consciousness, and can communicate with the other fish in Bikini Bottom, why is no one alarmed that they are one of the key ingredients in the most popular food item available in the town? do they not know that pickles are used? are they eating their comrades unknowingly? what sort of business is Mr. Krabs running exactly? what sort of sick, lawless town is Bikini Bottom to allow such morbid things?
100% ACCURATE EXPLANATION OF UR SIGN
  • Aries:ram running thru the forest n butting people
  • Taurus:bull eating grass
  • Gemini:twins that never stop arguing
  • Cancer:crab hiding in its shell
  • Leo:lion roaring n flipping their mane
  • Virgo:virgin goddess of the harvest
  • Libra:aesthetically pleasing scales
  • Scorpio:poisonous horny desert animal
  • Sagittarius:half man half horse that shoots flaming arrows
  • Capricorn:half goat half fish that climbs mountain for clean air
  • Aquarius:water god that likes humans
  • Pisces:two fishies chasing each other
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the ultimate shitpost 

Why did i spend my entire weekend working on this?

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Well, I had nothing better to do with my life.

Beep Boop

Honestly I’ve been thinking a lot about Vader and Imperial jingoism– don’t fucking lie, if you lived on Coruscant in the lap of luxury and didn’t know or care about people suffering in the Galaxy, Vader would be your #1 mascot. You’d see him like, punch a star fighter out of the air defending the Emperor and it would be fucking sweet

But then someone from the Imperial Court gets a dumb idea, and is like “Lord Vader do you have advice for my son, a future citizen of the Empire?” and Vader just leans in like 

“Do what you are told or sand people will kill your mother. And then I will kill you.” And he just walks away and everyone is horrified.