you survive


Lisa + Twelve moments

"Thank you Lisa...
I'm glad I met you."

The Matheson-Monroe Family | 2.12

"Oh that’s nice, Rachel.

We’re gone a week and your dad switches sides again?”


Mother, please.

And I’m pretty sure I took the prompt for this week’s poem for my Poetry class in a completely different and vaguely depressing direction than what we were supposed to.
Oh well. It’s done so I’m gonna put it aside for now and edit again in the morning when I have more distance.

Dear wife,

I’ve been staring at this piece of parchment for sometime not knowing what to write or how to even start it. Dear wife seems a good place as any yes? Marley, you’ve given me a lot over these last past months. You’ve given me friendship, love, happiness a place where I know I am meant to be, and above all a daughter. Yes at times things may seem to take a turn for the worst, what with us dying, twice might I add, but we some how manage to be together. You’re my strength, Marley. There is so much I want to learn from you, so much I need to learn from you, but I know there is no place I’d rather be than here with you. I know we’ve probably shed more tears than we have laughed or smiled, but pain brings us the most greatest gifts of all, the gifts of seeing the good times, to know what we are fighting for every day. I’m fighting for you, Marley, I will always fight for you. I know we doubt ourselves and each other a lot of the times, I know that we try to protect one another even though we know deep down, we can defend ourselves. I also know you’ve never experienced something like this, so you don’t have all the answers, and I keep asking you questions which are hard for you to even answer. I know at times I seem closed off and distant, that there are somethings you don’t know about me and I tend to forget to tell you. I am sorry for that, my love. I’m sorry for a lot of things that have happened over the last few months. How I’ve changed with no answers as to why, how at times I’ll be found crying in our bed with no apparent reason, or why I can switch emotions so fast it honestly would give you whiplash if you were still human. But there is one thing that will never change, and that is my undying love for you. Isn’t it strange, that we were just strangers once, hmm? Strangers not making a date to meet, we just stumbled upon each other, and ours eyes connected so did our souls. I remember you asking if I didn’t believe in a God, or were you telling me? I cannot remember, but that’s not important. And I never answered you. Here is my answer. I never did believe in a God. For a God is meant to look down on you, isn’t he? To help you out if you think you’ve got off your path, to guide you to the right one. I prayed a lot when I was in the asylum, I prayed to be free from those chains, I prayed to make sure my sister was well. But I got nothing, my love, I got no answer. Though some may say he did free me, by making sure Raina found me, and that he gave Kyra to someone who looked after her, but was that God? Or was that just Raina being a good friend and not leaving me behind? That Kyra just happened to stumble upon people, or that the horse rider that day was a good man? I’m getting off track as always. My answer has changed since then. Because you’ve shown me something, something that I didn’t have back then. You’ve shown me, love, kindness, hope and faith. Though I am not saying you’re my God, though you are my angel goddess, but I am believing a God does exist. Without a God there can be no heaven, therefore there are no angels, yet you have one looking over you, I am grateful for that. Though perhaps I never did deserve an angel to look over me, I was given one to marry. So yes, I do believe in God and that is why I married you in my chapel. That is also why I had a chapel, to pray in. I was lost, and needed guidance, though no one was listening to me. You may be reading this and wondering why I’ve written a letter in the first place. Simple, I’m not good with words not like you. My words get jumbled and I tend to walk around them in circles. I tend to say the wrong thing and make everything so much worse. So while you’re sleeping, I decided to write you this letter. I don’t express myself very well, though you would probably deny that. I don’t wear a smile as much, because I never did have anything to smile about. I love that you can act childish and let yourself go and be goofy, a word I’d never use, but it seems to fit, no? I wish I could do that, though I can’t. Even when I was younger I always had to be proper, never allowed to be a child, and I know you’ve had to grow up so fast. We come from different sides of the world, different families. While you were in a family of performers, I was in a family filled with vampires, kill and kill again, don’t get me wrong I love them dearly, and I loved the killing, but you’ve shown me life isn’t all about killing, its about loving, and loving yourself. I’ve been trapped in my mind for a long time, yet you’ve freed me from it. I know we talk about death way to much, and perhaps its because all my life I’ve seen nothing but death, and since I’ve died twice already, perhaps I’m expecting the third time to be the charm, now that I have so much to lose, and I don’t want to lose them at all. I don’t want to lose you, though I am trying to look on the positive, we are such powerful beings you and I, Marley. And we are only getting stronger. Soon water and fire will learn to fight together, the most powerful elements the world could ever offer us. I know I’ve kept mine hidden, and that’s because I am afraid. Boy, when I write I really get off topic. All I wanted to write you was this. You’re my sun, you keep me warm and let me know I am alive each and every day. You’re my tears, my laughter, my dreams, my songs and my paintings. I never knew what life was until I met you. Until I looked into blue eyes and realized how much I could love you and will love you. So when you wake up, I want you to read this, possibly while I am still sleeping of course, then I want you to remember something. Even though we may have bad days gloomy days and conversations that kick us down and make us not want to get up, make us question why we even bother fighting, I want you to remember this. All those things I just pointed out, is our reason why we are fighting, we are fighting to live and to love, to allow this family of ours to grow. And if you happen to skim over everything, because my writing got way off topic, then just know, you will possibly get another letter from me. Do not be scared, Marley, because I am not going anywhere. I’ve seen our future, you have her in your belly, and we will both be there to raise her, and to love her, and possibly give her someone else to play with. I will find out why my eyes are changing color, though I do not think this time its about death, because the last time they changed, I felt death creep in, I do not feel that anymore. I’ll call upon Sage and have a word with her, and make sure she keeps in contact with us, or Olivia. Speaking of which, perhaps one day we could invite them both for dinner? I should probably have told you this with words, but again, I just messed it all up. For that I am sorry.

I love you Marley Nolan.

Forever and For Always.

May we never part. Xoxo.


Charlie + Tom | 2.19

"Tell me something, is your ass made out of candy?"

My first client facial today went really well! She said she really liked what I did and wanted me to keep a record of what I used/did during the treatment so she could have it done again next time. She was a really sweet lady. My mom was my second client and I was able to speak to her a little bit more during the treatment and she said everything felt really good so I was more reassured that I was doing a good job. When she got home, she couldn’t stop telling me how awesome her face felt. 

I really do love what I do. c: