Ok, so tagging that little blurb earlier with “This is why I don’t write anymore” reminded me of when I *did*. More than a decade ago and before I had any actual experience, I was writing smut. I’m pretty sure my ex-husband is the only person from my real life who knows that. My “best” piece was a 4 chapter original fiction full of terrible cliches and lazy tropes. Wanna know just how bad? I went and looked it up (because they’re still posted). Here’s the first two paragraphs:
It was mid-semester when Tony first showed up at school. He was from California, and he didn’t know anything about his new school. He was 5’10, muscular, with brown hair and eyes and tanned skin. He wore a pair of slightly baggy jeans that fit around his waist and a t-shirt that wasn’t too baggy. He was a senior, moving away from the friends he had gone through eleven years of school with.
A girl passing by introduced herself. She was blonde, with hazel eyes, 5’6 with an hourglass shape and fair skin. She was dressed in a tight, short pair of shorts and a tight dark blue t-shirt. “Hi. I’m Sarah.”