Today’s word. Mann did I need to hear it. I don’t like not being able to attend church weekly…dang morning shifts. But I suppose it’s a way to make me more dependent on Him inbetween.
So today’s word was kind of going on the seven deadly sins…seven habits..vices..that work their way into ourselves that are keeping us from becoming the person God wants us to be.
First he started on Sloth…an inactive participation in this walk with Christ…
Next was Envy…where we think it’s all competition…”I’m not feeling it like that guy over there and because I’m not feeling it then I’m not of worth.” —honestly I’m not quite sure about this one since I’ve heard it on the website and distractions and a little one kept my attention from truly being in the Word. Also, I had morning shift so I couldn’t attend…but it was about being in competition.
Today was Anger. That really spoke to me. After what had happened between me and my dad, me and mom, me and my sister…I have a lot of anger towards them. And I spoke to pastor after service was let out and I ended up bawling in front of him..again. But he gave me a “presription” of how to continue praying for forgiveness … Forgiving them for what they’ve said and done and me forgiving them. I don’t want to harbor this anger…this pain anymore. But all the therapists I’ve seen over the years since it has happen say I have PTSD from it and trauma has it’s own path to be worked to find recovery from it.
So…we keep moving forward. Hubby said he might come with us to Wednesday small groups but he’s said something along those lines before and didnt come with so I’m not holding my breath but merely praying.
I hope we can become a family in Christ one day