Letter to the Past

I have never been one to write letters that begin with dear

I have never been one to write letters at all, actually

I have never been one to say hello or smile that much

because I hate my voice and how my mouth curls

so crudely into something more of a grimace.

For me the past isn’t a series of events that had trans

pired, I don’t believe anything ever really ends

and history repeats itself anyway, doesn’t it?

Just yesterday, for instance, a stranger smiled at me

from across the street and it reminded me

so much of you that I started to cry right there

and when I looked up, he was gone and I felt

a little bit better. What I mean is that the pain

won’t ever really go away, would it?

Because for me, the past is you

and I’ve never really been one to say goodbye.


i. she was fire.
whenever the sunlight caught her hair in just the right way, she glowed.
i should’ve known that she would burn me someday.

ii. she was sunshine.
her eyes were brighter than the sun could ever be.
they held so much warmth that i didn’t think it would ever run out.

iii. she was the center of the universe.
every time she walked into a room, time seemed to stop.
if only it actually had.

iv. time can heal wounds.
maybe it’s because it creates those scars in the first place.
time destroyed us.

v. i look at her now and see a ghost.
her hair does not know how to handle sunshine.
the radiance of her smile plays on her lips but never makes it.
my heart stops every time i see the past in the present.

vi. she was mine.

Once an Alpha has found a suitable Omega, they are compelled to make a ‘nest’ for their potential new mate, even before having made a move or signalled their interest.

This nestbuilding might manifest itself in simply shopping for extra snuggly bedding and buying lots of nonperishable snacks, but it amounts to the same thing: making their home suitable for their favoured Omega.

The Alpha may not even be aware of what they’re doing.

Which is why Phil finds himself with a collection of plush cushions, extra towels, pyjamas that he doesn’t really intend to wear and a freezer filled with steak.

It takes someone else coming over and noticing the difference to realise that Phil has the hots for someone… and who else would Phil have had in mind when he bought a purple target-patterned rug?

Lord, open my heart for me…

رَبِّ اشْرَحْ لِي صَدْرِي (25) وَيَسِّرْ لِي أَمْرِي (26) وَاحْلُلْ عُقْدَةً مِنْ لِسَانِي (27) يَفْقَهُوا قَوْلِي (28)

Lord, open my heart for me, and ease my task for me, and loosen the knot from my tongue, so that they might fully understand my speech. (Quran 20:25-28)

Originally found on: khaufandraja