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Ya’ll know those “RT to make a black girl mad” and “stop black girls" hashtags that BM,non Black WOC and ww love to post?This sister on twitter posted a pic of a few successful black women.She captioned the the photo “RT to ruin a white girls day”.BM on twitter turned into rabid dogs and began attacking the women in the photo calling them “ugly” and ” basic bitches “.Although the sister who posted the picture was being sarcastic she proved a very valid point BM will defend white womanhood at all cost. Everyone laughs at the "rt to make black girls mad” post but the moment the scenario is flipped everyone gets butt hurt.BM go out of their way to digitally enhance curves on white women then caption the photos “this is why black girls are losing”.Smh last night on twitter was disgusting. Some Black men will come to the defense of white women with TJ Sotomayor fan club shirts on before white men. Some BM take pride in shitting on Black women. Everything that fedupblackwoman has been saying is true BM don’t give a damn about us.

Understanding a Shame Based Identity

Shame is the deeply held belief that, at core, there is something wrong with me. So, no matter what I do, or how hard I try, I’ll never measure up and be good enough. Thus, I expect other people to reject me in the end, and deep down inside I reject myself.
If I have a shame based identity, I am likely to battle with the following feelings:
• Feeling like a fraud
• Feeling like I have to cover up all the time
• Fear of being exposed for who and what I truly am
• Feeling powerless
• Feeling as if I don’t have, or deserve, a voice
• Wishing I could just disappear
• Feeling vulnerable
• Feeling very needy – and perhaps too needy, compared to other people
• Feeling like I always disappoint myself and others.
The “shame bound” person is constantly struggling against these persistent and negative feelings. They are triggered easily, and by innocuous triggers, such as being overlooked or contradicted by a friend. This can then result in a powerful “shame attack” that is so intense that we’re completely paralysed, and overwhelmed, by a sense of worthlessness. These feelings can persist for days, for weeks or even months.

There’s nothing poetic nor beautiful about being insecure and not liking yourself. You know what is beautiful, though? When you love yourself so much that you inspire other people to want to love themselves too. Stop romanticizing self hatred and start letting people know that it’s not conceited to love yourself. It’s okay to like who you are. It’s okay. I hope that one day you look in the mirror and get butterflies from seeing your own reflection.

I think I keep falling in love with people to distract myself from the fact that I cannot fall in love with myself. I have loved other human beings more than myself, I have loved their flesh and bones more than my own. Not because my love for them was immense, but because the love I had for myself was lacking. I had so much of love and I gave it all away without leaving any for myself, and I know that was wrong. I am trying to love this shell that I am in, along with everything inside of it. I have been searching for the love of my life for so long, I never realized that they were right inside of me. They have been all along.
—  m.o.w, on loving myself
How to Deal with Feelings of Shame

Shame is a deep-seated feeling and conviction that something is inherently wrong with us. And although this FEELS true it is based on faulty thinking, and is therefore something we can challenge and change. To break free … take one thought (such as I am defective, inferior, worthless or deserve to be rejected) and then ask yourself the following questions:
1. What convinces me this thought it true?
2. What is the evidence against it?
3. Is there one time or occasion when it hasn’t been true?
4. Why was it not true at that time?
5. What would someone who REALLY knew me and loved me say to contradict that negative thought (the thought that I am defective, inferior, worthless or deserve to be rejected)?
6. Who would I be, and what could I achieve, if I let go of that negative thought?
7. What’s the worst that could happen if I let go of that thought?
8. What is the best that could happen if I let go of that thought?

I want to extinguish the ugly thoughts in my head, they are dangerous and selfish. I need to let them know that I am not healed yet but I have to trim the thorns in my throat because they are ruining every word that wants to be spoken up. When I look at my reflection I just wish for something to come and suffocate my heart until it can’t breathe anymore. I feel like I was cursed with self hatred.
—  Mary Guarnieri