self distruction

An eating disorder is always portrayed as a little monster that’s clung to your back, and screams awful things at you when you decide to get seconds or when you look at yourself in the mirror.
An eating disorder is not some fictional monster.
When I grab seconds, it is me that scolds myself and I remind myself how much I’m going to regret it.
When I look into the mirror, it is me that says those God awful things that make me want to tear myself apart.
It’s all me.
I checked under my bed, and I checked in the closet.
There is no monster, it’s just me.
—  What Should Be Under My Bed