COLOMBIA, LA CALERA : Agents of Colombia’s National Protection Unit (Unidad Nacional de Proteccion, UNP, in Spanish) train in La Calera, Cundinamarca department, on October 22, 2014. The Colombian government created the National Protection Unit in 2011 to provide protective measures for “people, collectives, groups, and communities that may be at extraordinary or extreme risk because of their work”. AFP PHOTO/Eitan Abramovich

well FUCK

Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper has vowed to strengthen the nation’s terror laws one day after a gunman rampaged through parliament.

The leader said plans would be expedited to give more powers to surveillance and security agencies.

On Wednesday, a reported Muslim convert shot a soldier at an Ottawa war memorial before attacking parliament.

He was killed by Sergeant-at-Arms Kevin Vickers, who was greeted to a standing ovation on Thursday for his efforts.

It was the second attack on Canada’s military in three days.

Standing to address the MPs to warm applause, Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s first words were: “I know we will always stand together.”

The objective of the attacks was to instil fear and panic in Canada, he said.

But he vowed to expedite security measures to toughen powers of surveillance and detention.

"They need to be much strengthened, and I assure you, Mr Speaker, that work which is already under way will be expedited," Mr Harper said.

Please fire me. Our regional loss prevention associate came in yesterday and educated me on how to better secure my department because it contains the highest value merchandise. After her pleasant and enlightening visit, my supervisor told me that the security of the department was entirely my responsibility every single day from now on, “since you feel that you are so important that you spoke to the l.p. manager without permission.” I only work 2 days a week and all the other employees in the department are temps who didn’t go through criminal background checks.

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3:19min… you can see the girl run up the ramp on the PWT stage… and right after a security guard runs up the other ramp and their meeting was legendary… 

A Nobel Laureate in Fargo

A humorous story from a North Dakota boy. Krista often teases me about how North Dakota will come up in any conversation I’m part of. (Yes, I’m proud of my roots!) So, of course I’m going to share this great story from Scientific American about Brian Schmidt, an astrophysicist who won the 2011 Nobel Prize in Physics for co-discovering dark energy:

"When I won this, my grandma, who lives in Fargo, North Dakota, wanted to see it. I was coming around so I decided I’d bring my Nobel Prize. You would think that carrying around a Nobel Prize would be uneventful, and it was uneventful, until I tried to leave Fargo with it, and went through the X-ray machine. I could see they were puzzled. It was in my laptop bag. It’s made of gold, so it absorbs all the X-rays—it’s completely black. And they had never seen anything completely black.

They’re like, ‘Sir, there’s something in your bag.’

I said, ‘Yes, I think it’s this box.’

They said, ‘What’s in the box?’

I said, ‘a large gold medal,’ as one does.

So they opened it up and they said, ‘What’s it made out of?’

I said, ‘gold.’

And they’re like, ‘Uhhhh. Who gave this to you?’

'The King of Sweden.'

'Why did he give this to you?'

'Because I helped discover the expansion rate of the universe was accelerating.'

At which point, they were beginning to lose their sense of humor. I explained to them it was a Nobel Prize, and their main question was, ‘Why were you in Fargo?’”

Cracks me up.

YEMEN, SANAA : A Yemeni policeman walks on motorcycles that were seized after their owners violated a ban on motorcycles on October 20, 2014, at the police headquarters in the capital Sanaa. Yemen began the day before enforcing a temporary ban on motorcycles in the capital to prevent blasts or attacks. AFP PHOTO / MOHAMMED HUWAIS

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