Every now and then, a true gem appears.

Okay, really? There are so many things painfully wrong with this message. First of all, PUNCTUATION, MOTHERFUCKER. USE IT. Second, don’t begin with the negatives. You’re supposed to leave that for after you get to know each other.


Also, what is a “faze” because I’m pretty sure you mean “phase.” Also, the “I am not much to look at” isn’t a good idea. It is good to know you’re looking for something REAL and something SEARIOUS. I love 100% USDA-certified Organic beef, seared. Seariously.

Now, the really sad part of this is that you copy and paste this and send it to multiple women. This big long piece of crap was an icebreaker? You could sink the Titanic with the amount of ice that has formed as a result of this message. Cool, you own a business and make more than minimum wage! Congrats, would you like a medal?


Even if there is another message and it DOES have proper grammar, what’s the point? Why can’t this one? At this point, I just pity the dude. I didn’t even bother looking at his profile. I can’t imagine the fuel I’d find for my need to be an asshole.


OH WAIT. HE SENT A FOLLOW-UP MESSAGE. It’s remarkably offensive and thoroughly disgusting. What an asshat. What a tool.

I value the people around me more than myself.

I look out for the people around me more than myself.

I am harder on myself more than anyone could possibly be.

Im more scared of a loved one putting them selfs in a situation that can jepordies their well-being then I would myself.

I fear lossing a loved one more than I do myself.

all these thoughts keep me up at night, then wake me up at sunrise.

Okray boat on a less searious note w)(y does Ct)(ul)(u alwaves get depicted as bilaterally symmetrical~

If )(orrorterrors )(ave any symmetry atoll it’d be rotational if it was reel simple, moby )(elical, oar perc)(aps double rotational if it was 4-D~

MEENAH: thats cool but
MEENAH: arent you overstatin our prior relationship as somefin above neutral just a TAD
 #yeah its a stretch as a fish pun
 #gonna count it tho
LATULA: w3ll m4yb3. but 1 h4d 4 lot of t1m3 to th1nk, both b3for3 w3 4ll 4t3 1t, 4ND 4ft3r.
 #th3 b1g w1p3out
 #r4d d34th 4n4log13s
LATULA: 4nd 1 c4m3 to som3 MAD 3p1ph4n13z, 4bout you, or us r34lly. 1 w4s th1nk1ng 4bout you 4ll wrong.
LATULA: for most of th3 t1m3 w3 kn3w 34ch oth3r, 1 w4s 4ll l1k3, WHY SHOULD TH3R3 B3 TWO B4D4SS, 1N-YOUR-F4C3 GRLZ 1N TH3 GROUP???
LATULA: sort of ov3rk1ll, r1ght?
MEENAH: mehhh
 #u searious?
LATULA: 1 w4s k1nd of v13w1ng you 4s 4 comp3t1tor, 1n l1k3 4 two grl RAD-OFF. 1 w4s w1nn1ng 1n my m1nd, of cours3. but s33, 1 h4d 1t 4ll wrong!!!!
MEENAH: did you
LATULA: Y3AH! s33, 1m th3 t34mz R4D GRL, wh3r34s YOUR3 th3 t34mz B4D GRL!!!! 1t 4ll m4k3s p3rf3ct s3ns3! do3snt th4t m4k3 SO MUCH S3NS3???
MEENAH: that
MEENAH: is the stupidest glubbin thing to require any sorta rationalization i ever heard
 #p lame tules
LATULA: s33 p4ych3ck? 1 kn3w 1 could count on you to b3 just1f14bly cyn1c4l 4bout my n3urot1c bullsh1t. you RUL3!!!

Haha, if there were two A1 teams, Meenah and Latula could have been the two team leaders.