roseraptor started following screwedinthehead

Good evening,

I do hope you will enjoy your stay. I am not a particularly interesting being so I am grateful that you are interested enough to deem me worth your time. I shall try not to disappoint.

The best roleplayers that I’ve come across here, in my opinion, are the ones whose posts can make the voice in my head that reads things sound exactly like the character they’re portraying without me even realizing until halfway through reading.

(cough cough, screwedinthehead, gonna-wreck-it, currybath, ask-turbo-ralph, ask-human-giroro, cough)

(not even gonna be that subtle about random unsolicited shout-outs)

Well this is new... M!A thread

Spirit Albarn was not feeling like his usual self. He wasn’t sure exactly what was different, but it was harder than usual to keep his mind on his work. His mind kept drifting off to other things and he had to focus to get any work done at all. It had been this way since lunch, and he put it down to some he’d eaten disagreeing with him. He was pretty sure it hadn’t been the sandwich, since he’d made that himself that morning, which left the bottle of juice he’d picked up in the cafeteria.

With a sigh he pushed away from his desk and stood up. Unable to focus, he should probably get something to settle whatever was affecting him. Not that he had any clue why the juice should be affecting him like this…usually food poisoning came with nausea, not daydreaming. Grumbling silently to himself he headed out and down the hall. There was really only the one person he could go to to figure out what the hell had happened.

Stein’s lab wasn’t exactly Spirit’s favorite place in Death City…truth be told it creeped him out a bit most days. Today, though, the stitch-covered building didn’t bother him as he walked up to the door. He didn’t bother waiting for an answer after knocking, instead just pushing the door open and walking in. “Anyone home?”

Nothing Else Matters (M!A rp)

[for background on just why Spirit’s sunk this far, see this fanfic. It’s still in progress, but I’m writing as fast as I can.]

He sat alone in a dim apartment, staring at the wall. So much had happened, so much gone wrong. He’d been lost for so long, trapped in the dark, and it didn’t feel as if anything was changing. The nightmares still plagued him, every night without fail. When was the last time he’d been able to sleep a full night through without something jolting him to overalert wakefulness, aware of every little sound, staring into the shadows as though they would drag him away.

He had gotten things mostly under control in his waking life, but even that was wearing on him. Little things, a sudden noise, an unexpected touch, still sent his heart racing, adrenaline flowing. He couldn’t help it, though he tried. It was only a limited amount of time before he would end up doing something he’d regret. He almost had just that day…the memory surged up, replaying before his eyes.

He’d been trying to talk to Maka. It was more awkward now than it had been before, as he almost had to relearn how to talk to people in general. She’d gotten irritated, as she often did with him - he got clingy, he knew, though he did try not to - and had resorted to hitting him over the head with her book. In that moment…he shuddered. What he could have done…

Getting up he wandered slowly into the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. Dull cobalt eyes looked out of a still-pale face framed by lank red hair; he only took the barest care of his appearance these days. What was he becoming? What had he become? He was no use to anyone like this…if anything he was a danger. How could he let himself resonate with Shinigami-sama, or anyone, like this? It would do more harm than good.

and Stein…he had been the one to keep Stein in check, steady, as stable as the scientist could be, but now…how could he do that when he could barely cope with himself? Even being near Stein might aggravate his old partner’s madness…he couldn’t risk that, couldn’t let Stein fall through helping him.

And Maka…he’d never been much of a father anyway, had he? Especially since the divorce. Clingy, overbearing, annoying, unable to communicate like an adult…he’d ruined their family, she barely tolerated him…maybe they’d been getting better before, but now…he looked down, unable to hold his reflections eyes. Now what could he do for her? He couldn’t even keep himself afloat…

His eyes fell on the medicine cabinet. There was that. That was an option. It would solve his problems, let everyone stop worrying about him, let them move on…Stein had Marie as a partner now, didn’t need Spirit. Shinigami-sama could call Tezca or Azusa to stand beside him until a new Death Scythe was made. Maka was a strong girl, she could take care of herself, and she had Soul…it wouldn’t even have to look bad…just an accident. Absentminded Spirit, not thinking…and then it would be over.

Of Meisters and Men

(And now, a look into the distant past…)

“Albarn! Wake up!”

Spirit jerked awake as something bounced off his head, sitting straight up in his seat and trying to look as though he hadn’t been dozing off in class at all. Around him most of his classmates were laughing, and a chalkboard eraser was sitting on the desk in the tier below him. Rubbing his head he looked sulkily over at the teacher, who was glowering at him in mild exasperation. “Yes, sir?”

“About time,” the teacher said, folding his arms with a raised eyebrow. “I hope I’m not boring you at all.”

Spirit said nothing, sliding down a little in his chair as his sulking increased. The laughing around him had died down, but there were still quite a few snickers audible. The redhaired weapon didn’t mind being laughed at so long as he was intentionally trying for it, but something like this…well, that was a completely different story. “Sorry,” he muttered, folding his arms and trying to avoid meeting the glare he could feel coming from Azusa’s direction.

“Doesn’t matter.” The teacher pointed to the door. “Shinigami-sama wants you. Get moving.” Spirit’s head shot up, his eyes widening. Seriously? He was getting summoned over dozing - he hadn’t been actually asleep, after all - in class?! The teacher didn’t look away, one eyebrow raising again. “Well? What are you waiting for?”

Silently Spirit slid his books back into his bag and got up, not looking at anyone as he started out. No one spoke, either, until the door closed behind him and he heard the teacher start lecturing again. Summoned in front of Shinigami-sama…well, that was just brilliant, wasn’t it? it wasn’t as though his grades were actually bad…he maintained a spot in the top fourth of the class, after all. And just because his previous partner had decided to break up and go with someone new three days ago, that wasn’t his fault…those were the thoughts that ran through his mind as he trudged through the halls to the Death Room. It wasn’t until he was pushing the door open that he realized he still had chalk on his black uniform from the eraser. Brilliant.

Paint it black (AU thread)

(continuing from this drabble)

It had been a week since the funeral. A week and a half since the battle. Since the day he’d lost everything. Spirit Albarn lay on the couch in his small apartment, staring listlessly at the ceiling. He hadn’t moved in hours, had barely moved at all in days. Hadn’t even left the apartment, not since Shinigami-sama had finally sent him home the day after the funeral. It may have been meant as an act of kindness, giving him time to heal, but he didn’t see it that way. Work had been something to keep him moving, his sense of duty at least keeping him functioning that much. Without it…

He blinked slowly, eyes focusing on the bottle that rested on the table in front of him. Jim Beam. Half empty. It had been full at one point, he knew, but he couldn’t really recall how it had ended up in its current state. Didn’t matter anyway. Didn’t help. He knocked the bottle to the floor with one hand, watched it roll away across the room, let his head fall back against the arm of the couch.

A rumble from his stomach managed to snag his attention for a moment. When had he last eaten? He couldn’t remember. Didn’t care. Wasn’t hungry. Barely had the will to think, let alone cook. There had been knocking on the door several times over the past few days that had gone unanswered. He didn’t want to answer it. Didn’t want company. Knew it was stupid, but didn’t even have the will to yell at himself for being an idiot.

He was an idiot.

He was a failure.

He had let her die.

One Of Those Days

A whole year. It was hard to believe it had been that long. Spirit Albarn sat in the living room of the small house that seemed entirely too empty now. Maka hadn’t lived there since she’d gotten the dorm-apartment with Soul, and Kami…well. She’d left a year ago. A year ago today. Ordinarily if Spirit was feeling upset or down he’d go out to the cabaret or the club district, surround himself in people and good company, but not today.

Today he sat alone, staring at the dark television screen in a small house that seemed far too big for just him, a bottle of whiskey on the table and a half-empty glass beside it. Probably he shouldn’t be drinking, but hell. It wasn’t as though he were going anywhere. Or as though he was expecting company. With a sigh he reached for the glass and took a sip, feeling the alcohol burn on the way down. No work tomorrow. Nothing wrong with drinking until the pain went away. Just for today.

Surprise parties never work (another look into the past)

Spirit Albarn had had a decent day so far. He’d snuck back to the apartment he shared with his partner over lunch to prepare for the small surprise he had planned for that evening, and classes had gone fairly well. Stein had even managed to not be creepy most of the day, which was a definite improvement. After a couple years of being partnered with the younger boy, Spirit had started getting used to his odd little idiosyncrasies but that by no means meant he liked some - okay, most - of them.

Now, with classes over, he was looking for his meister to head home. He’d been planning this for a solid month and was pretty certain he’d been sneaky enough that Stein had no clue…he was just irritated it had taken him this long to find out the information he’d needed to actually make it work. And that he couldn’t find Stein anywhere. He wasn’t in the library, or the science classroom, or any of his few other usual haunts when not in class. That meant somewhere else, and Spirit had no idea where that would be. Heading outside, he jogged down the stairs of Shibusen to check the park. Stein could occasionally be found there watching the wildlife…it was worth a look.

It didn’t take Spirit too long to reach the park and he kept jogging, eyes scanning for any sign of Stein; the white clothes the younger boy wore stood out in most places, and then there was that hair of his…both made him pretty easy to spot. But still no sign. Spirit frowned slightly, starting to get a little worried, and sped up. And then he heard it, the sound of boys laughing and jeering ahead. That wasn’t usually a good thing…he sped up to see what was going on.

Ouch| M!A rp, open?

Spirit was paying absolutely no attention to anything behind him, entirely focused on just getting the hell away. Which is why his terror shot to new heights when the syringe hit his right shoulder. He tore it out with a scream and kept running, not noticing that it was now empty, but he’d figure that out later. Right about the time a burning pain began to rise through his entire body.

He stumbled as it registered, falling to skid a few feet across the ground, which didn’t help the rising pain much. Or the panic. What had they done? What had been in that thing? What was happening to him? He had no idea, all he registered was the rising pain in his body. Curling up he tried to make it go away; no such luck. All he could really hope for now was that it would fade quickly, and whoever that nutcase had been wouldn’t be following him to finish whatever they’d started.