How to (not) break up with your best friend like a pro
  • Me:I HATE YOUI AM NO LONGER YOUR FRIEND.
  • Him:UGH WE ARE OVER.
  • Me:WE ARE SO OVER. I AM LEAVING THIS FRIENDSHIP FOR GOOD
  • AND IM TAKING THE CAT, YOU CANT HAVE HER BACK.
  • Him:WHAT NO. I NEED THAT CAT FOR DODGY HIPSTER PICS.
  • Me:TOO BAD IM KEEPING BOTH. I NEED PEOPLE TO TALK TO.
  • Him:YEAH WELL I GET THE CHAI STASH.
  • Me:YOU EVIL ....NO WORDS.I'M TAKING THE TEA..
  • Him:WE BOTH KNOW I CAN SURVIVE ON CHAI ALONE. YOU CANNAE DEAL WITH JUST TEA, SO I WIN..
  • Me:I HAVE THE CATS, PLUS I'M TAKING LUCY *AND* TILLY.
  • Me:AND I'M TAKING THE BOOKS!!! AND THE LAPTOPS!
  • Him:I DON'T CARE I HAVE THE LEMON SQUASH
  • WHAT. AWW FUCK NAWW. I MEAN, AWW HELL NAW, IN CASE THERE ARE PEOPLE AROUND. BUT MY LAPTOP. BUT MY BOOKS.
  • Me:MINE NOW.
  • Him:YOU BITCH. I GET ALL THE MAKEUP.
  • Me:I GET THE NAIL POLISH, AND THE HAIRBRUSHES, AND TOOTH BRUSHES. AND RAZORS. YOU CAN HAVE A BEARD NOW AND I CAN HAVE NICE SMOOTH LEGS...HOWS THAT FOR FUN?.
  • Him:AND THE ITUNES ACCOUNT
  • Me:I HATE YOU. MY MUSIC.
  • Him:DO YOU WANT ME TO GET SCURVY? BOO SHA. YES WELL, I CAN USE MAKEUP. LAYERS UPON LAYERS TO HIDE MY BEARD UNTIL IT REACHES FULL LENGTH.
  • Me:I GET THE IPODS. YOU CAN HAVE ITUNES, I'LL SURVIVE WITH THE MUSIC IVE GOT.
  • Him:AND I STILL HAVE MY DOCTORATE, SO I CAN GET A SHAVE EASY PEASY.
  • Me:IF YOU THINK THAT MAKEUP IS GOOD ENOUGH TO COVER YOUR BEARD THEN YOURE WRONG.
  • PLUS, IM TAKING YOUR DOCTORATE.
  • Him:HAHAHAHHA, NO. I DON'T THINK IT WORKS LIKE THAT.
  • Me:TELL THAT TO THE LAWYERS..
  • Him:I WILL. I BAGS THE LAWYERS. DAMN STRAIGHT.
  • Me:I BAGS THE JUDGE!.
  • Him:OOH, I KNOW I BAGS ALL YOUR TV SHOWS INVOLVING VAMPIRES.
  • YAR HAR FIDDLE DEE DEE, BEING A PIRATE IS ALRIGHT WITH ME.
  • Me:I BAGS DOCTOR WHO. AND STAR TREK.
  • Him:NYEH NYEH NYEH. WHAT NO. DON'T YOU DARE.
  • Me:AND STAR WARS, BECAUSE I LOVE STAR WARS. AND I BAGS HARRY POTTER IN ALL SHAPES AND FORMS. I DARE, SEAN, I DARE.
  • Him:ARGH. Okay Sha, you win.
  • Me:I think I'm better at this. I think I'm a bitch. :)
  • Him:I need tea. Yeah I think so too :( I think you have a bitch-switch, more than some people.
  • I BAGS THE MODEM.
  • Me:YOU BITCH. I BAGS THE SPECIAL MAGIC CABLES AND THE INTERNET USBS AND THE 3G.

anonymous said:

tumblr dare: top 15 friends

Friends in the real world? Oh honey. I don’t have 15. I screwed up my life pretty thoroughly.

My top 5 are: Sean, Gabby, Rayhan, Caity, Jess.
Those 5 people are the reason I’m still breathing - without them I’d be completely useless. 

Then I guess my other friends are Eliza, Sam, Jacob, Saira, Zoe, Alexis, Genna. I have other friends, I guess, but I’m not so close to them. I might think of some later.

I don’t know. I don’t really have a social life.

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