I get asked this question too many times and I don’t like to answer it because when empirestatesugar ( I miss that chick so much ) was in the bowl she made a masterclass post on it. I tried searching for it on tumblr but not much comes up when you search her name. Luckily I saved this shit in a word document like a year ago. I used this technique a while ago when I used to be active on SA and so many men pointed out how lovely and personalised my message was. ….Which makes me wonder what kind of message some other people are sending? (100% shade)
The gold about the template below is when you personalise it to the a PrePOTs profile, he feels special ( he doesn’t realise that you basically sent the same shit to every man you have spoken to)
I’ll state the obvious and say you shouldn’t use this template. Make your own!
So here it goes. May nobody ask me ‘how to message’ ever again.
All Credit goes to EmpireStateSugar, non of the material below is mine.
“Why I message
Realistically, everyone on these sites is talking with multiple
people at once, but as humans we love to feel uniquely noticed. So the two key
things I try to remember for an initial spam message are to stroke the
ego and elicit interest. You’re doing a really great job with
taking initiative but now it’s time to crank up your messages and get the
responses you want and deserve, girl!
Think of an initial message like a voicemail. If you get a
voicemail saying, “Hey it’s Andy. Call me back.” You’ll be like what does this
bitch want? If you get a voicemail saying, “Hey, gorgeous. It’s Andy! Haven’t
heard from you in a while. I have the FUNNIEST story to tell you. You’re gonna
die. Call me back some time tonight before 10pm or else I’ll be asleep. Can’t
wait to hear from you. Bye!” What are the key differences here? The first one
lacks motive or reason and has no sense of urgency. You have no idea why Andy
called or what he wants. Consequently, it’s not enticing and it’ll either take
you hours/days to call Andy back or you’ll text him and say “Hey got your
voicemail. What’s up?” You never want a POT to have to ‘What’s Up’ (aka wtf do
you want) you! When people write on their profiles “Not a fan of endless
emails/texting” THIS IS WHY. Make your point and make sure your point is a good
one! The second voicemail not only makes the point but it leaves the receiver
begging for more. What’s Andy’s story? I’ve got to hear it! I might even walk
out in the middle of class just to call Andy back and hear what he has to say.
This is the difference between a green check next to ‘sent messages’ and an
inbox full of responses.
When I Message
On SA, there’s a daily quota of how many messages you can send
so choose wisely! Winks are unlimited per day, but as I mentioned above, they
are the crutch of the lazy and unimaginative. Your words carry much more clout!
Rather than wasting messages on men who are too cheap/indecisive to pay for a
premium membership, always make sure that the yellow “Premium” is highlighted
on the banner on his profile. This way he can actually see, read, and respond
to your messages!
How I Message
This might go without saying, but don’t waste your time reaching
out to splenda, salt, and meatsuits. Just because BigDickDaddy69lives 10
minutes away from you and has a million dollar income doesn’t mean meeting with
him will be worth your time (but if you want a free dinner, go for it girl!).
READ THEIR PROFILES. Ctrl + F for “sex”, “kinky”, “stamina”, and other TRIGGER
WARNING: TACKY AS FUCK words. If he’s in the clear, move on to extracting
tidbits about him that you find interesting – his career, places he’s visited,
sports he’s into, activities he loves, etc. Ctrl + T his profile in a tab right
next to the message you’re writing for him so that you can refer back to it
quickly if need be (I say this because Doctor is technologically challenged and
idk you might be too lol). While spamming out your daily email quota should not
take more than 30-60 minutes and you are not here to write each individual man
an ode, you do want to have some specifics.
Who I message
Assuming I’ve found a premium member who is not a meatsuit,
there are two categories that he’ll fall in: Silent Sam and Fun Freddy.
Silent Sam is the standard SA user who, for reasons of extreme
discretion, novice sugar profile experience, weak self-selling game, or all
three, lacks a well-defined profile. His About Me and About You are brief and
vague with phrases like “let’s talk”, “message me for more”, “Handsome, fit,
gentleman seeks SB”, “looking for a mutually beneficial arrangement” or other
NO DUH type shit. He may have little to no photos, or, worse, have several
tailored-suit or beach bod selfie shots thinking that his looks speak for him.
He is probably using a vague username like “NYCbanker” or a fake name like
“Mike.” Although his hazy wants and needs are frustrating, he is not to be
discounted for reasons such as his high income/net worth, high allowance (or it
may be open/negotiable but his income is high enough), handsome photos, or
ideal location. Thus, I conclude that Silent Sam has the potential to be a good
SD and simply needs me to extract this from him.
Fun Freddy, unlike Silent Sam, details his love of Russian
ballet and need for an SB who shares it at length on his profile. Indeed, his
wants, needs, hobbies, etc. are described explicitly on his About Me and About
You which are each a solid one or two paragraphs at least. He may have several
photos, or still have little to none for needs of discretion or otherwise. Like
Silent Sam, his income/net worth, allowance, and location work well for you but
he has a leg up on Sam in that his personality and ideal arrangement align with
yours as well.
What I message
(I’ve italicized the template and the rest is just content I
scraped from his profile)
Subject: Hey there, (Sam/handsome/nothing if he has no
name or photos)! :)
Body: SO jealous that you live in Neptune! It’s a mere four
planets away from me so I drive out often for the amazing rock climbing scene.
Do you dabble in that at all? Unfortunately there’s not much of that on Earth
where I’m from but it’s probably my favorite hobby. Have you ever been to Earth
before? As a Management Consultant, I’m sure that you travel to several fun
planets and I can tell there’s a ton I’d love to pick your brain about as I too
enjoy sight-seeing in various corners of our galaxy. I’ve enjoyed your
profile thus far and would love to hear a bit more about you and your ideal
arrangement sometime soon.
^ Silent Sam is more time-consuming to message because you have
to pull teeth to fatten up your template. You can’t spew generic compliments
like “You’re so handsome!” or “You seem like a fun, active guy” when you have
no idea about either. You must rely a bit more on speculation. But this
message does a great job of inserting yourself into the narrative of his
life. Now he knows that you’re available to meet for coffee in Neptune
often. He knows you love to travel and he doesn’t have to feel shy about asking
you to join him on his bi-weekly business trips to Pluto. You also shoot him a
few questions highlighting your interest in his life and give him action-steps
(tell me more about yourself and your arrangement) to steer the conversation
where you want to go and to give HIM a template for how to respond. Nothing
worse than a message from a guy that says “How are you?” right? Ugh!
This makes YOU have to do all of the guesswork. Don’t be that guy. Save your
busy CEO the trouble and give him three or four key points to come back at you
with, which will be helpful as you’re trying to learn more about him in spite
of his blank ass profile. Ultimately, this message shows that you’re impressed with
him all off of a few words that he wrote down – what an incentive to divulge
Subject: Hey there, (Fred/handsome/nothing if he has no
name or photos)! :)
Body: I couldn’t help but gush over your profile! Not
only are your photos absolutely scrumptious, but you write so eloquently! It’s
evident that you are an intelligent, successful, well-traveled gentleman who
knows how to have a lot of fun. We definitely share a lot of values and
passions in common. I LOVE that you’re a veterinarian – I have two
puppies myself. What made you want to study that line of medicine?Your photo
line-dancing was very handsome! Have you ever tried salsa before? If not, I’ll
simply have to teach you as it is my favorite form of dance :) You seem
like you’d be an absolute blast to spend time with and I’d love the chance to
find that out for myself. Can’t wait to hear more about you and
your ideal arrangement soon!
^ This dude could be the most boring guy in the world but I’m
still gonna what? Stroke that ego! I act like his profile blew me away. Best
I’ve read since I joined the site. He worked really hard to craft those
paragraphs so I reward him accordingly. As Drake says, “I’m telling every girl
she’s the one for me, when I ain’t even planning to call.” Make him think
that you think that he is the shit! You might be wary of doing
so because then he’ll think you’re puddy in his hands, but it really has the
opposite effect. These men get dozens of messages that commit the
below-mentioned offenses (or are boring like yours lol) and to read from
someone passionate, exciting, and lively is a breath of fresh air. Remember the
voicemail thing. If you have ten “Hey call me back” voicemails and one
enthusiastic, inquiring, fun voicemail, who are you going to call back first?
The more interest I show in him, the happier and more inclined to learn about
me he will be. Moreover, just like your message to Silent Sam, you’re seeking
to insert yourself in the narrative of his life by allowing him to envision you
two salsa dancing together. Once you plant this image in his mind, he’ll simply
have to make it a reality!
AN INITIAL MESSAGE IS NOT THE TIME FOR:
Rapid-fire interrogation into his merits as an SD OR to bring up
how much allowance I want.
“Hey there, John! I’ve loved your profile. So tell me, what
brings you to SA rather than a more traditional site such as eHarmony? Have you
ever been a sugar daddy before? If so how much allowance did she get? And why
did it end? Can’t wait to hear back from you!”
^Hey there, SB, you’re hot. Why are you on SA? Do you like older
men a lot? The harrier the better? How many older men have you been with? Did
you let them do anal? How deep? ………………..Are you uncomfortable yet? This neither
strokes the ego nor elicits interest. Instead, I pocket these key questions for
the next message or two. Like real dating, sugar dating is
about a personality match initially so I start off seeing what we have in
common and then (soon, don’t wait forever) move on to see if our arrangement
expectations align. As so many SBs say, treat him like a person, not an ATM.
Regurgitating my entire profile.
“Hey there, John! I’m a fun, sexy, college student at University
of Tampa who is majoring in psychology. I love to dance, travel, and play with
my cats. I keep in shape by running four miles a day and I’m training for my
first marathon coming up this summer. Blah. Blah. Blah. Copy and paste from my
^After a guy reads my message, he will immediately go to your
profile to learn more about me. So let’s give him more to learn! Don’t just say
everything you’ve already said before. Your profile should do the telling and
your message should do the showing. If you say you’re fun, flexible and like to
travel – show it! This probably won’t elicit interest since it’s not anything
he couldn’t find from just reading your profile. And it certainly doesn’t do
anything to stroke the ego since it’s all about you.
“Hey there, John! I’m a fun, sexy, college student who is
looking for a man to spend time with two to three times a month for wining
& dining, enriching experiences, and a mutual beneficial arrangement with,
on my part, a monthly allowance of $5000. Is that YOU? :)” ^ It can be tempting
to send the latter message because it seemingly weeds out guys who aren’t what
I’m looking for, right? Especially since guys send us these messages all the
time a la, “I’m not looking to waste either of our time so here’s what I want
yada yada yada.” Well these type of gun to the head messages are a big turn-off
to a lot of people (especially shy newbies like Silent Sam); it’s better to
start light and then delve into what you’re looking for a message or two later.
While this message may elicit some interest, if anything, it hurts the ego by
measuring this man against my standards right off the bat. Don’t be a salt
baby. Don’t make it “Are you good enough for me? Why should I choose you?” But
instead “are we good enough for eachother?” (at least not to his face)
SA winks and literal winks “;)” as they are universally tacky
and creepy lol.
RECAP, AN INITIAL MESSAGE IS THE TIME TO:
Reveal specifically what I find appealing about a man.
Reveal my fun personality to this man.
Enable him to envision the exponential surge in his quality of
life with me as his SB.”
__ empirestatesugar -deactivated :(