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#NoShameDay

This is my sister *S* She doesn’t like to talk about her age. Her favourite colour is probably blue. I haven’t asked her in a number of years because we’re both in our late twenties - early thirties. She is able-bodied and while I’m not I still love her.

Growing up with an able-bodied sibling was interesting to say the least. During summer day camp she would come as my “companion”. We would team up and she would deliberately push my chair over so I’d fall to the ground in an effort to distract people while playing catch the flag. It was my idea of course. We’d laugh while everyone looked in terror and awe! And then we’d win the game.

She used to get kind of jealous when I was in the hospital and people would shower me with all these random gifts. Poly Pocket Mansion, barbies, my stuffed animal collection was to die for. But I shared. Even when she got mad at me and cut my barbies hair and tattooed them with nail polish, we’d still be playing them two hours later. A few years ago after surgery landed me in a coma my parents gave her the power to make my medical decisions because she knew me best and my parents knew she’d make the right choices for me and she did. She was there every single goddamn day, all the while working on a Masters Degree.

*S* is getting old, her hair is greying. I remind her of this sometimes because I’m an ass hole. I’m glad I have the time I have with her now though. We could both literally die of an aneurism at any minute. I remind her of this too. While we went though a bit of a rough patch in high school where we were both too embarrassed by each other’s existence, I learned to look past her many flaws and she grew to tolerate mine and we’re back to being BFFs.  I love my able-bodied sister.

#Satire

They are saying it’s a new world
Nothing is what it used to be

Everyone is cruel and scared
Cocaine is the new painkiller

Shrink on speed-dial
Sending your mugshot as your CV

Politicians funnier than comedians
Sleeping at 3 am like it’s 10 pm

Cheating is a daily ritual
Must have a DUI before 21

It’s not easy being a fuck up
It’s not easy being a rich kid

- Hedonist Poet

Special speed drawing update due to recent events of Calgary Expo telling Honey Badger group, which also included women, to leave their expo for having GamerGate poster against censorship. 

https://archive.today/SuqyI article about it

https://archive.today/fEK0T tweet of one Honey Badger women.

https://archive.today/NKuRP Calgary Expo tweet saying they asked HB folks to leave.

https://archive.today/qVnMD in response to question about rule broken by HB, Calgary Expo answers they enforced their private rule

This is special event update, don’t miss today’s regular update http://satiricaljusticewarrior.tumblr.com/post/116666115593/satirical-comic-on-censored-misinterpreted-joke-in

Satirical comic on censored misinterpreted joke in Pillars of Eternity.  

The joke in question by one of game’s backers http://imgur.com/4hfmvNz

On cenorship http://gamer2002.tumblr.com/post/115053716566/wow-katherine-cross-does-she-has-any-sort-of

Archived tweets from above:

https://archive.today/KL5Lx

https://archive.today/GShGK

Mark Kern about this: http://gamer2002.tumblr.com/post/115746292006/whensmahvelgoddamit-game-developer-mark-kern

What the signs never do (with emojis)

Aries: They👏Never👏Fucking👏Chill👊
Taurus: They never wanna do anything 😪😪😓😓😓
Gemini: They never stop talking 😒😒😒😞😞
Cancer: They never stop whining 😢😢😢😭😭
Leo: They never wanna talk about someone besides themselves 😩😩😩😵😵
Virgo: They never stop cleaning 😕😕😡😡😡
Libra: They never decide on anything 😬😬😬😐😐
Scorpio: They never tell you shit 😦😦😟😟😟
Sagittarius: They never care 😖😖😖😔😔
Capricorn: They never stop working 😒😒😥😥
Aquarius: They are never normal 👽👽👾👿👿
Pisces: They never pay attention 😑😑😓😓😓

The signs at the supermarket

Aries: where’s the fuckin ramen?
Taurus: I don’t need these 12 rolls of duct tape….. I don’t need them..
Gemini: Help
Cancer: OMG IS THAT A FRUIT ROLLUP? *nostalgia*
Leo: *gets what they need* *leaves*
Virgo: wHO WOULD PUT A PACK OF OREOS IN THE MOVIE BIN WOW FUCK THIS PLANET, IM OUT *flies out the roof with jet pack*
Libra: *Gets the cashier’s number*
Scorpio: This is dumb, I mean look how easy it would be to steal that….. oh shit, that employee can hear me thinking I’m going to jail
Sagittarius: *forgets their shopping list* *buys everything they don’t need* *cries*
Capricorn: holy SHIT where is the nearest machete, I will slaughter every single one of you if you don’t speed tHE FUCK UP
Aquarius: *prolonged sigh*
Pisces: *tells the cashier their life story*

The Borowitz Report: Hillary Clinton Officially Begins Nineteen Months of Looking Concerned

Sitting with patrons at Jones Street Java House, in Le Claire, the former Secretary of State listened intently, sipped from a cup of coffee, and nodded her head at appropriate junctures, flawlessly reënacting a brief scene from her first campaign video.

Read more.

Photograph by Michael B. Thomas/AFP/Getty