My name is Sarah Jean Fox, or at least it will be legally soon, for now it’s legally mikey :/ (explained in a bit.
I am almost 28 years old. i was born in kansas. i have worked around 20 different jobs, i have lived in multiple states, i have been to around 27 states, and i have been to around 15 countries. but now i am lucky just to get out of bed to work.
I was in boy scouts since grade school and made Eagle Scout. I joined the U.S. Navy when i was 20 and became Mobile Security which was ATFP (anti terrorism/force protection) at a NECC(naval expeditionary combat command). I am autistic with Aspergers(and yes they let you serve with aspergers, i am definitely not the only one to do so). but one thing i did not know when i joined is that i also have Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and all the joyful conditions it includes. i was adopted as a newborn with a closed adoption, which is one reason i didn’t know about the EDS. but thanks to the adoption case worker i do know that i have a little bit of Native American and English heritage.its because of the EDS that my life is falling apart.
I am also Transgender and queer. dealing with long term clinical depression, general anxiety, ptsd, bpd, ADHD, i’ve been abused, used, cheated on, lied to, stolen from, literally abandoned, and lost people i cared about. currently my health is plummeting and i now have to use a cane the majority of the time as well as multiple supportive braces. in the last 3 years i have had to leave multiple jobs because of my health getting worse. the veteran hospital i am stuck dealing with in kansas city is not treating me properly concerning my gender or my chronic illness that is destroying my life and they are bordering maltreatment.
(example, they have been prescribing me estrogen since july 2014, however they never did a preliminary blood test. i have only had one follow up appointment at which they still did not do a blood test to monitor hormone levels. i haven’t even been seeing the actual DR just one of his nurses who doesn’t know what he is doing and runs to the doc each time i have a question and at my follow up i asked why they weren’t doing the blood tests to monitor hormone levels the nurse goes and asks the DR and comes back and tells me they think that just sounds like something other docs do to just get extra money from the patients. da fuq? and then they refuse to prescribe testosterone blockers even though i’m already on estrogen. i just had an appointment with the psych about that and she wont approve it until i completely redo my therapy and counseling… even though… i’m already taking estrogen…prescribed by them…???) i am not waiting till i am 30. i can’t i wont. if i cant start my transition before the end of this year i never will. after 30 the effects of the hormones reduces drastically.
aside from that i was diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome just before i got out of the Navy at which time they instructed me to get a further detailed diagnoses with the veterans hospital once i got out. shortly after going to the vet hospital i ask to be seen by rheumatologist but nothing happens, i ask my pcp why and was told the Rheumy replied “EDS is a genetic condition there is nothing i can do, prone to aneurisms.” and that was all. after that its been hell trying to work with a pain specialist there that wont give me anything stronger than tramadol for pain. i had to fill a back pack with all of the over the counter braces and supports i’ve been buying with my own money and throw it at his feet and basically yell at him just to get him to order me proper braces that will actually help with my condition.
the KCVAMC will not help me with my disability and that includes the vfw, dav, all of the alphabet soups that are supposed to help. they say they cant find my active duty records. and even the archives in st louis says they dont have them.
when i first got out of the navy i started going to the vet hospital in richmond and i LOVED it. they actually know what the are doing when it comes to transgender healthcare. and they are better suited to handle someone like me with a degenerative chronic condition like my EDS and everything it is doing to me. the KCVAMC doesn’t know what they are doing and they don’t even care. i tried going to patient advocate and nothing has happened. the last time i went to the ER there for severe pain, so much so i had to leave early from work, the ER doc literally said to me “well what do you want me to do?” and then proceeded to treat me like i was a junky trying to get narcotics… I’ve never HAD narcotics…?
well that’s the healthcare side. now for my home life. because of my health i now barely work part time as a cashier for an electronics store making less than $400 a paycheck. when i am not at work i am mostly at home in bed because i’m hurting so much. i still don’t qualify for state disability for some unknown reason. then there is my “family” the people that adopted me. the people that are hardcore conservative republican southern baptist christians that refuse to accept i’m not the “boy” they hand picked as a baby. they refuse to accept me for who i am, even when that means my “mother” finding me in the middle of a suicide attempt and refusing to take me to a hospital and making me wait it out.
they constantly doubt me, treat me like i am nothing, as though nothing i do at all is good. they never support any decision i make. they still treat me like i am a preteen child. they treat me as though my autism makes me less than a person. they don’t respect me in any way or any of my choices. they don’t want me to be my own person. my “mother” has a That 70’s Show wallpaper on her computer because THAT is the exact family she wanted. she is a two faced lying manipulative… person. my “dad” is the reason i have panic attacks when people yell in arguments and other stuff. they refuse to understand that i have a chronic illness and cant function the way i used to anymore. they ignore my depression, anxiety, pain. the minimize it all. they demand respect and trust when they do nothing if not the opposite to earn it. i have nothing to hide from them but they are constantly prying into every aspect of my life. it is because of them i am currently in progress of moving all of my possessions into my storage unit and likely moving into my car very soon.
i have had 3 suicide attempts since i have been back and living with them from a combination of the stress from them and my gender dysphoria and the lack of progress with my transition. i cant be myself at “home” and i am legitimately afraid of going out in public as myself and if i do so its not for very long. i felt safe everywhere i went in virginia.
the reasons i am so desperate to get back to virginia is to get away from the family that refuses to accept for who i am and treats me like crap. to get away from the ex wife and completely rid myself of the chance of going back to that abusive relationship(she is still trying to use me). to get better healthcare from a facility that actually cares about me and knows what they are doing. for my physical, mental, and emotional well being. kansas is nothing but pain for me. in virginia i have soooo many friends i saw multiple times a week every week at events i eagerly anticipated each week. virginia is leaps and bounds ahead of kansas as far as the lgbt community. i felt self being who i was in VA, i do NOT feel safe in kansas. i know the trans support group in VA. i haven’t even found one nor would i be comfortable going to one in KS. basically i have a larger and closer network of support in VA where in KS i have practically none.
and seeing how i make so little money now with what bills i have taking the majority of my paychecks its not possible for me to save the money needed to move as soon as i can. the photos above list the costs needed for the basic move from kansas to virginia and the route.
with everything added up plus a small extra amount for emergency i need in all about $2,000 in order to move. and i can not even begin to convey just how truly desperate i am asking for help like this. if you would like to help any amount helps. and if you cannot donate i beg that you please share this. reblog it, retweet it, anything. i need help to get home.
and a note on the gofundme. it was created a while ago to help with my transition but that was when i was still working a better job. now my only concern is getting to a safe home to get the proper healthcare from the right veterans hospital that wont neglect me.
if you are able to help in any way by either donating or passing this along, THANK YOU so very much. random acts of kindness truly can be life changers or even savers. and i realize i am just another stranger asking for money, if you have any questions PLEASE ask me anything. i am an open book.