sap:spider

BESTIARY XXIV: THE SPIDER

THE SPIDER IS A KIND OF WORM THAT LIVES IN THE SKY. IT FARTS OUT WEBS, WHICH IT USES TO PREDICT THE WEATHER. SOMETIMES FLIES GET STUCK IN THEM, BUT THAT’S NOT THE FUCKING POINT. SPIDERS DON’T EAT FLIES. SPIDERS DON’T EAT ANYTHING. THEY GET ALL THE NUTRIENTS THEY NEED FROM THE AIR. 

IF YOU SPIT ON A SPIDER, THOUGH, IT DIES. BUT DON’T DO THAT. THAT’S FUCKING CRUEL. SPIDERS ARE BASICALLY FAIRIES. 

SPIDERS ARE FUCKING DELIGHTFUL HARMLESS SKY-WORMS. THAT’S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW.