White men make up approximately 36% of the population, but commit 75% of mass shootings. What would be called terrorism by any other skin tone is suddenly some mysterious unnamed disease. We as a society are perfectly happy to further stigmatize mentally ill people, who are far more likely to be victims of violence than commit violence, in the service of protecting white supremacy and male entitlement.
Shame, Virginity, MRAs and the UC Santa Barbara Shooting

I have a lot of thoughts on the UCSB shooting right now. I’m going to write them up for the site for Monday, but there’s a lot I want to get down now while they’re still raw and fresh.

Friday night, Elliot Roger got behind the wheel of his BMW and proceeded to murder seven people and injured seven others. He did this because he was a virgin.

This isn’t speculation. In a blood-chilling video entitled “Elliot Roger’s Retribution”, the 22 year old delivered a long rant about being a virgin, about how since he hit puberty he has been afflicted with unfulfilled desires. 

He wanted sex, but women refused to be attracted to him. He complained that it wasn’t “fair” that everybody else got to experience “sex, fun and pleasure” and he was left out.

And so he murdered seven people, and attempted to murder many more.

He claimed that he couldn’t understand why women didn’t find him attractive “the supreme gentleman” and “true alpha” while throwing themselves at the “obnoxious brutes”. And for this, they deserved to die. For, in his words, “the crime of living a better life than me”. 

Because they “denied him” what he wanted. Because they “would have” - a critical phrase - snubbed him if he made a sexual advance. 

From his Twitter: “Why are girls sexually attracted to obnoxious, brutish men instead of sophisticated gentlemen such as myself? #girls #perverted #sex #unfair,”

His YouTube channel is full of videos complaining about women. He was a regular participant on PUAHate, nominally an anti-PUA site but more often a site for complaining about being “incel” and the cruelty of women for not being attracted to him. He followed many MRA video bloggers 

Right now there are a lot of people who are going out of their way to paint Roger as “sick”, “unhinged” or “mentally ill”. They want to make it a story about how he had a head full of bad wiring. They want it to be simple: he was a nut. He snapped. 

And we shouldn’t let them. Not because we know or don’t know that he was suffering from any sort of mental illness. Maybe he was dealing with some sort of mental health issue. We don’t know. We may never know. But that is just a way of compartmentalizing him, separating him out from the rest of the male population. A systematic “Not All Men”, as it were.

Because whether any theoretical mental illness had anything to do with his rampage, it doesn’t negate the fact that he grew up believing in a toxic form of masculinity. That he believed he was entitled to women’s affections and to women’s bodies - and that being deniedwhat he thought was his due meant that the best thing he could do is go murder as many people as he could to punish them. Because that was exactly what he was doing: punishing people for the crime of not fucking him. Of forcing him to be a virgin, of making him less than a man.

Because that is exactly what the cultural narrative of masculinity says. A woman who is a virgin is a prize, holding her “special gift” for a “special person”. A male (not a man, a male) is a failure. He is a boy, not a man. He is a failure, because masculinity is rated in two axis’ - in our capacity for sex and our capacity for violence. These are the two ways that men establish our masculine credentials: by being a stud or being a bad-ass. 

And - critically - men cannot show weakness. To show weakness or emotion makes you less of a man; it makes you a pussy. Not even a woman, just a part of a woman, something to be fucked by “real men”. 

There’s no question that Roger was in deep, emotional pain. But our culture tells men that they keep that shit inside. You don’t let that out. You don’t let it show. You hide that shit. Because real men don’t hurt. Real men don’t cry and they sure as shit don’t ask for help.

The MRA community that Rogers was attracted to talks about how they’re trying to “help” men. But that “help” consists of berating and insulting women and talking about how women “manipulate” men and how women are men’s “natural enemy”. They’re obsessed with being “alpha”, with being “real men”, not “manginas”. They’re all about asserting manhood by force, “showing” women and punishing them. Manhood by violence. Manhood by force. 

Manhood by sex. 

This is the world that Roger was drowning himself in.

Let’s just imagine a world where Roger could have gone to somebody - his father, a therapist, a priest, somebody and said “Help me. Please. I’m hurting. I’m scared. I need someone to help me right now” without fearing that this made him weak. Without believing that this made him less.

Without believing that the answer to feeling weak was to try to reassert himself through violence and pain.

Maybe seven people would still be alive right now. Maybe seven more wouldn’t be in the hospital.

It’s on us to make this world a reality.

More on Monday.

MRAs Are Dangerous. We Can Ignore This Fact No Longer.

This is terrifying, because we’ve all been on the receiving end of male entitlement. We’ve all been criticised for putting a man in ‘the friendzone’ because we dared to not want to sleep with him. As a queer woman, I’ve gotten abuse from more men than I can count as soon as they’ve realised I prefer women. Because suddenly I was no longer available to them. And it made them angry. How dare I damage their egos like that? How dare I not want to sleep with them? How dare I ‘be a waste’ by preferring women? How dare I want to be single?

As an online feminist activist, I’ve been sent abuse, some violent and threatening, by many MRAs. I’ve been sent rape threats. I’ve been told to kill myself. I’ve been told they hope I become seriously injured. 

And it’s so easy to tell yourself, in self-preservation, that they’re just a sad little group of men on the internet, that contribute nothing, that are trolling, that want attention. 

But that’s not the case, as today’s incident in Santa Barbara displays. They’re serious. We can’t just convince ourselves that this isn’t happening. We can’t kid ourselves they’re a minority. 

MRAs, yes. Sure, they’re a minority. 

But their vile male entitlement and fear of female power and agency is far more widespread and normalised. 

So normalised, that every news channel I’ve seen cover the tragedy, has put the attack down to mental illness, or autism, rather than the true cause: misogyny, and a community that allowed this young man to believe his own wants and desires and wounded ego were worth more than the lives of innocent women. 

Not all MRAs were responsible for this attack. That’s obvious. As much as I hate the ideals of the group, and the actions of the majority, I know they aren’t all murderers. I know they aren’t all going to carry out their threats. 

But I’ll tell you what they are guilty of. 

They’re guilty of never sitting that man down and telling him to grow the fuck up. They’re guilty of creating an environment where such views can be expressed freely, without fear of other MRAs condemning the hatred. They are guilty of hatred, they are guilty of entitlement, they are guilty of frail, frail egos that suddenly turn, when broken, into vicious attacks on the women that dare to exercise their human right to say ‘no.’ 

This is not an isolated event. 

We’ve been seeing it for years, bubbling dangerously in dark corners of the internet. 

Only now it’s no longer in the dark. It’s ventured out into the ‘real world’ where real people, real womenare being harmed by these very real, very dangerous men. 

We cannot turn a blind eye to it any longer. We cannot try to create some form of truce with this hate group. We cannot pretend these people are misguided. That they’re just joking. That they’re trolls. 

From now on we have to assume they are dangerous. For our own safety. 

Elliot Rodger is another that joins a long list of men that felt so entitled to women’s bodies that they would rather kill them than allow them to exercise the freedom and right to turn them down. 

He’s not the first and he won’t be the last. 

Don’t let this stuff slide. We can’t afford to. Report them, report them, report them. 

MRAs are a hate group. They’re terrified of female power. It’s why they seek to destroy every bit of it they ever see. 

Feminism is necessary. Male entitlement and misogyny still poison this society. 

Because I want the next generation of young women to be able to turn down a man they aren’t attracted to, without fearing what he’ll do to them for the crime of body autonomy and saying the word ‘no.’ 

We are not fucking martyrs.

Letting sad males fucking us is not an humanitarian mission.

We have every right to be grossed out and creeped out by you.

We have every right to say NO. 

You are not entitled to our bodies, you are not entitled to sex, we shouldn’t be forced to have sex with you because you are whiny frustrated and dangerous babies, if you can’t control yourself you should be emasculated, END OF THE FUCKING STORY

lets talk about how white boys feel so fucking entitled to sex that one literally felt that murdering women was the appropriate retribution for him being a 22-year-old virgin
let’s talk about how this isn’t the first time that this has happened, nor will it be the last
let’s talk about how someone’s undoubtedly going to blame it on mental illness rather than the fact that boys literally feel that women should die if they rebuff a man’s advances
let’s talk about the young girl who was murdered for rejecting a boy’s prom offer
a young girl with her entire life ahead of her
women continue to be fucking murdered because men feel so fucking entitled to their bodies and minds that MURDER is an acceptable response to fucking REJECTION
when the fuck are we going to put a stop to this


Santa Barbara Shooting, MRAs, and Male Entitlement by Claudia Boleyn 

A video response to the tragedy, a plea to men to end the passivity and stand with us. 

We can ignore this no longer if we want the next generation of young women to be safe.

Something’s got to give. 

Here is my twitter, here is my YouTube channel, here is my official promotional blog xxx


When a person holding public office feels comfortable spreading this level of revolting contempt, we fight back. When a man has been voted into power only to take advantage of that power to advocate violence against members of his own constituency, we fight back. When dangerous and powerful men perpetuate cycles of hatred that cause women to fear for their lives: WE. FIGHT. BACK.


Men commenting on the UC Santa Barbara shooter’s YouTube video are saying that he would not been driven to commit mass murder if prostitution had been legal. 

I am struck by these comments because they remind me of my rapist, who once told me that my anti-pornography stance is misguided because if men did not have porn, they would only become more aggressive towards women. He did not specify what he meant by “aggression,” but he did not need to. His message, delivered in the most casual way possible, was this: if men feel unsatisfied, women will suffer the consequences.

My rapist comes from a respected New Jersey family. He plays lacrosse, he graduated from college with honors, and he is well liked by just about everyone who meets him. He is well within the mainstream, as is the idea that when women do not satisfy male desires, we must be punished.

The UC Santa Barbara shooter, contrary to how the media will inevitably paint him, was far from fringe in his thinking about women. He did not commit an isolated act of madness; he took the ideology of male supremacy to its logical and devastating conclusion. Incidents of male violence, whether they be mass shootings or rapes in college dorm rooms, will continue for as long as the idea that women’s bodies belong to men pervades our culture.


Santa Barbara Shooting: The Response by Claudia Boleyn

In this video I address the derailment taking place whenever the issue of male entitlement and misogyny are addressed in relation to the Santa Barbara shooting (as evidenced by the comments on my last video on this subject).

Questions I answer in order to stop major derailment from happening: 

  • Are feminists using the tragedy for their own ends? 
  • But what about the men that died? 
  • Wasn’t the shooter biracial? 
  • But the shooter didn’t call himself an MRA?”

Reblog this if you can, because we seriously need to get this conversation back on track. 

Note: I read from the shooter’s manifesto. It’s racist and disgusting. Just so you know. I do give warning first, though. 

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This video also answers the following questions:

Is a man’s sexuality superior to a woman’s existence as a human being?
Do women owe men sex?
Do women owe men anything at all?
Do men have the right to force women into sexual acts?
Do men have the right to force women into anything at all?
Is a nice guy entitled to something sexual from women?
Is the reason women are alive to prove sexual pleasure?
If someone gets raped, is it their own fault for being raped?
Should we keep excusing horrible behaviour from men because “boys will be boys”?
Are men animals with no self control over their actions?
Are women socially accountable for the way that men behave?

No buts. No exceptions.

I’m literally going to punch a wall.

This needs to stop.

Stop making horrible events into vehicles for your bitching. 7 people died. 7 human beingswere murdered. Do you understand what that means. 7 people are no longer alive, due to a mentally ill young man. They aren’t making excuses. This person was an already diagnosed “high-functioning patient with Asperger syndrome and had trouble making friends.” (x)

This isn’t an act of violence against women. This was an act of violence against people. They haven’t even released the identities of the victims, but I HIGHLY doubt they were only women. It was a mass shooting. He wasn’t looking for one victim. It was an expression of anger.

This isn’t about whether he was white or not. It was about the number of people and his motive. If a person of color flies a fucking plane into a building and kills thousands of people with the intent to incite terror in the masses, then yes, they are labeled a terrorist, because that’s what terrorists do. Until that day, most people considered “terrorists” were white environmental activists who bombed cars and burned buildings. (x) If a single person kills another single person, it is called murder. There are always motives that are needed to persecute for degrees of murder. Mental health issues are a common motive, but not just for white men. There’s a reason for this though: THEY ARE FUCKING MENTALLY UNSTABLE. THEY MURDER PEOPLE AND THINK IT IS OKAY. THAT IS NOT ABLEISM, THAT IS FACT. THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOUR FUCKING POLITICAL VIEWS, YOUR OPINIONS ON OPPRESSION, OR RACISM. THIS IS ABOUT 7 PEOPLE WHO ARE NOW DEAD BECAUSE SOMEBODY SHOT THEM.