Im at Manchester Airport, about to fly out of England.
I’m sad as ever. I’ve called this place home for 4 months now. I’ve met the most amazing people I never thought I would call friends, I’ve learned valuable lessons (professionally and personally), I’ve traveled and expanded my territory and now I’m just sitting here.. waiting to go and leaving it all behind. I hate it. I was missing home so badly towards the end that I over looked the value of what was my current situation. I was abroad, being treated so kindly, and i was offered a home, an alternative lifestyle and an opportunity to spread love around the world and I selfishly overlooked it and waited form my chance to go home. You never realize what you’ve got until it’s gone. And now that I am watching it slip out of my hands, my heart is so heavy. If I could’ve done the last few weeks over- I would’ve cherished them so much more. I will miss the new family I’ve made since I’ve been abroad. I don’t want them to become distant memories and I don’t want them to forget me. I don’t want just to be that American girl that becomes a story for their grandkids. I want to be with them all the time. I want to grow with them, Learn with them and travel with them. England has been so amazing to me and I know that when I reenact the stories for my family/friends back in the states– it won’t begin to cover the journey i’ve lived. The stories won’t compare to living them outloud. I’ll try my best to make them all understand how much I loved this country, but only the ones who’ve made a space in my heart with truly understand my journey. England, please don’t forget me. Thank you for everything, thank you for this experience. You are loved, you are cherished.
I can actually feel my heart being ripped away from this place. An agonizing pain, it is.
There will be tears, there’s no doubt. There may be smiles but a few.