Characteristics of a Muslim
We often assume that there is a specific type of role we must exhibit in order to be the best Muslim. Many people believe that a Muslim man must be firm and not shy of speaking the truth where ever and whenever opportunity presents. Many people also believe that a Muslim woman must be reserved, soft-spoken, and shy.
If we continue to believe these types of misconceptions, the entire ummah will be full of hypocrites.
You don’t have to change your personality to please Allaah, azza wajal.
Consider the two greatest companions of Rasool Allaah, salAllaahu a’alayhi wasalam, Abu Bakr and Umar, radiAllaahu anhum. Their personalities were nearly worlds apart. The former was much more soft-spoken whereas the latter appeared much more harsh outwardly.
But what’s extremely important to understand is that despite their personalities being different, they shared the characteristics of a pious Muslim. Although Umar seemed harsh, he was just as forgiving as Abu Bakr. And although Abu Bakr was very soft-spoken, he still held his ground and was completely firm upon the truth and spread it without hesitation.
It’s crucial to understand that our personalities don’t have to hold us back from practicing Islam and pleasing Allaah. If you’re a hyper, social Muslim woman, it is completely acceptable for you to be as long as your talkativeness doesn’t make you careless of your speech. If you’re a quiet Muslim man that doesn’t want to express anything, that’s also completely acceptable as long as you don’t shy away from the truth and spreading it when necessary.
So stop feeling like you need to change your personalities. In order to attain the characteristics of a Muslim, you don’t need to fake your personality. Because once you do, you’re no longer sustainable.
Being humble (a characteristic of Islam) doesn’t mean being quiet (personality trait). Being modest (a characteristic of Islam) doesn’t mean you must be reserved (a personality trait).
We need all sorts of personalities in the ummah so that we become a mosaic of talents - a community that has a little bit of everything so it can remain balanced and long-lasting. We don’t need a million of the same type of person. We need to accept that the characteristics of a Muslim are presented in a variety of ways due to the personality of the person - but that doesn’t take away from the characteristic itself.
Be honest to yourself about who you are. Otherwise you will continue to seek sincerity and never will you find it. I pray that you do, ameen. I pray we all attain the pleasure of our Creator, ameen. May He guide us and increase us in understanding and wisdom, ameen.