(cont) several years, and he just got out a few weeks ago. After he got out, he decided he wanted to reconnect with my brother and sister and myself, (we were the family he stuck with the longest) and he’s decided to move back to our town as soon as he’s able. My oldest sister is in contact with him, and she said that he really wants to meet me and fix things. My mom is nervous to let him, but he still has custody of me, so she can’t really stop him, and she said it’s my (cont) decision. I’ve dreamed about my dad coming back ever since he left, and I’ve always struggled with not feeling sad about him leaving. So of course, now that I’ve put it behind me, he comes back. I’m not sure if I want to meet him anymore though. I’ve wondered my entire life what having a dad would be like, but I’m afraid that he’ll let me down if I let him in. No one wants to give me advice because it’s my decision, but I just don’t know. What do you think I should do? -Sabariel (3/3)
My Dearest Friend,
We do not get to choose our parents, and it seems like you and I have not been very lucky on that matter. However, you are faced with a choice: you can let your father into your life, or leave him out. It is a tough decision to make, and I perfectly understand that you are feeling conflicted. But remember mellon, whatever decision you make, it is not definitive, you can still change your mind later. Even if your father has your custody, you do not have to see him if you do not wish to do so.
Here is my advice: why don’t you meet him just once, to see how things go, and then decide if you want to see him again or not? You can meet him with your sister if it helps you feel more comfortable, or in a place you are familiar with, or your can maybe give him a phone call first! What matters is that you feel comfortable and safe, or it will certainly never work.
Do not be afraid to make it about you, and not about him, or about your mother, and do not forget that whatever decision you make, you will still be able to go back if you wish to.
I hope my advice will help you make a decision, feel free to come back if there is anything more I can do.
All my love,