MEMO #106

From this point onwards, EDD will not be approving any requisitions for self-sealing stem bolts unless the agent who is submitting the request can provide proper documentation, signed by their department head. This documentation must show that the agent knows what a self-sealing stem bolt is used for, how to properly use one, and why they need them. All aspects of the request will be checked before any are issued.

This is because both Major Boothroyd and Agent Grant are sick of being dragged out of their department with distressing regularity to unseal the bolts from various objects and parts of the Helicarrier. Especially distressing was the bolt stuck to the back of Dr. Banner’s head.

Furthermore, Agent Wilson is be reminded that sticking anything to anyone is on the prohibited activities list, and doing so to Dr. Banner was especially crazy, even for him.

based on a submission from rtll

rtll replied to your posta controversial one in my house, but what’s your opinion on milton jones?

mum hates him, my sister loves him. I like him on panel shows, or shows where we get shorter doses (live at the apollo for example) but I’m not so sold on him for a whole show.

Aaaaaaahhhhhh, ok. I can see what you mean about the whole show thing, because I watched one of his tours on Dave and I felt that it dragged. Though, that could be because I was really tired and I couldn’t watch it with subtitles, which meant that I got distracted easily. 

MEMO #66

Assistant Quartermaster Agent Grant, from the Equipment Development Department has asked us to pass along an announcement of the utmost importance. 

It seems a number of Major Boothroyd’s infamous “exploding pens” (Stock ID: Pen, detonating, HE Stock no: 14987886) may have made their way into the regular stationary supply system. We would advise that agents take extra care when using any pen that they might come across. Especially refrain from clicking the end in a sequence of clicks and pauses as follows with dots representing clicks and dashes representing pauses:

 .-.-..-…-…..-……..

 Major Boothroyd would have passed this on himself, but his computer, even with the experimental armored casing provided by Mr. Stark to all S.H.I.E.L.D. equipment, was destroyed at the same moment he realized there was an issue.

submitted by rtll

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