An anon asked. I promised. I delivered. The Haf List of Lady Badasses (Television Edition). A countdown of the women of TV who have inspired me as a woman, a writer and a person, and who I gauge all other female characters on television by.
Between ages 11-13 approximately, I practiced American Kenpo karate. And every Friday, the exact hour before I was driven off to the dojo, Jackie Chan Adventures was on and I would watch it because, duh, karate show before karate class, perfect mojo motivator. Anyway. I loved that show. And sassy troublemaking, loveably arrogant, constantly-in-over-her-head, wisecracking, wise-beyond-her-years, tiny tornado Jade Chan was the absolute best thing a preteen girl could ask for in a cartoon.
This show was, as I’m sure it was for most solidly teenaged girls of my generation, a time of spiritual, psychological and sexual awakening. This was the point of my life where I realized I desperately needed a motorcycle. I started to wear lots of shades of black. Sunglasses were suddenly important headwear, makeup less so. Boys became bugs in the windshield wipers of my life. Words like “yo” and “whats the hizzy homejizzy” started to work their way into my vocabulary — (no idea about that last one, it just happened, I didn’t even know what I saying god help me). That fact that “Girls Kick Ass” was written on a tee-shirt somewhere was very profound to my teenaged mind. Jessica Alba had really nice hair, and if you tell me you didn’t have a giant, vaguely sexually confused girl crush on Max Guevara (and by proxy Alba) back in the early 00s because of this character, YOU ARE LYING THROUGH YOUR GODDAMN TEETH
Just because her reproductive organs are on the inside doesn’t mean she can’t blow up a sun. …in fact, to pull off that feat, it’s probably required, in addition to being whip smart and a genius and all that other stuff. Samantha Carter is the only person who could get me to sign up for the military, and that’s only because if you have to lock horns with the Goa’uld, or anything ugly in space for that matter, you’re basically up a creek sans a canoe without Sigourney Weaver, Michelle Rodriguez, whichever Chris plays Thor and this woman. …yes of course Amanda Tapping will save the world in character, why do you ask such silly things.
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