Bleach characters, where is the heart?


As requested by anon. :)


When Ulquiorra took over Bleach Lists, his list was Bleach characters answering the question that is the title of this post: where is the heart? It is now time to imagine what such a list would look like! So, Bleach characters, Ulquiorra is asking where the heart is! How will you respond?


Ichigo: It’s in your chest!


Ichigo:


Ichigo: Well, not *your* chest since hollows don’t have hearts, but if you’re asking about human hearts, then they’re in the chest!


Byakuya: Kurosaki Ichigo is correct. The heart is in the chest - in the center, under the ribs.


Byakuya: You could find that out in approximately three seconds if you bothered to google. 


Kenpachi: How do you expect to stab anyone correctly if you don’t know where the heart is?


Kenpachi: You should know your enemy!


Kenpachi: Otherwise you might try to stab a guy in the brain when it turns out he’s missing most of it. 


Hitsugaya: If you are talking about *your* heart, Ulquiorra, then it’s your mask.


Hitsugaya: The remnants of a hollow’s heart becomes his mask.


Hitsugaya: So yours is lopsided and horned.


Hitsugaya: Take that as you will. 


Orihime: Um, guys?


Orihime: I’m pretty sure Ulquiorra-kun is talking metaphorically here.


Orihime: You know, using “heart” to mean “human emotion”?


Tatsuki: So….he’s just talking about the brain?


Ishida: Or the liver! Like the ancient Greeks thought!


Tatsuki:


Ishida: What? It’s hard to find the right moment to share that.


Orihime: M-more metaphorical, guys!


Rukia: I get you, Inoue!


Rukia: Kaien-dono once told me that heart is born when people make a connection, and that when you die, your heart is left with your friends!


Rukia: So everyone has as many hearts as they have friends!


Rukia: So in Ulquiorra’s case……


Rukia:


Rukia: Well it’s not like you need more than one heart anyway!


Rose: I think the heart resides in anything you love!


Rose: Friends, yes, but also music, poetry, art - whatever you pour your heart into, there your heart remains!


Kira: I would like some haiku stuffed into my gaping chest wound then.


Rose: Izuru, please, we’re doing metaphors now!


Unohana: In the end, it depends on why the hollow is asking.


Unohana: If he wants to stab the heart, it is in the chest.


Unohana: If he wants to know the source of emotions, it is the brain.


Unohana: If he wants to use metaphors correctly, then “heart” can refer to anything a person loves.


Unohana: There is really one only place the heart never resides.


Unohana: The hand.


Unohana: Like, where does that even come from? Nobody says that.


Ulquiorra:


Ulquiorra: I was this close to making you my heart consultant.


Unohana: I am so devastated. 

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