A look at swimsuit formulas and the topology of covering one’s singularities. Hilarious and enlightening, from The New Yorker:

The proper mathematical way to look at this is to say that since, as the suit shrinks, a finite decency mass is concentrated into an ever smaller region, the decency density grows larger and larger—growing toward infinity. This point of infinite density is called a singularity. So we have that each RMBC (“region that must be covered”) has an associated singularity. And each beach-goer, on each beach, has an associated decency surface, with some number of singularities. The first thing a mathematician does, when faced with a surface or space with singularities, is, naturally enough, count them. A most unusual aspect of this particular singularity problem is that the count is culturally dependent—in fact there are countries where the sum is less than it is in the United States. I have heard that there are beaches where a bather’s decency surface might have no singularities at all, a prospect I have not the courage to consider.

Rotherham Council is apparently pissed that their subcontractor, Kier, is charging them every time an engineer comes out to inspect equipment but the occupants aren’t in.

"Kier… are experiencing an increased number of arranged appointments where they have failed to gain access to carry out the service… [and] due to to pressure on budgets… we will have no option but to pass this cost on to [the occupants] should [they] not be in for [their] pre-arranged appointment."

Well, that’s a laugh. It would help if we actually received these “appointment letters” that are supposedly being sent out. Someone knocked at my door on Wednesday at 8.20 in the morning (before my carers had arrived for my breakfast call). Since I hadn’t had a letter to say anyone was coming, I didn’t try to get up to answer it, and now that’s my fault?

What’s more, my hoist was already serviced just last month, and the “regular intervals” that it’s “of paramount importance” my equipment is serviced are only meant to be six months apart. I have two separate companies right now trying to maintain my hoist, and they’re talking to us about wasted money?

Well, but I suppose that’s the council for you.