Jerry: Hello Newman.
Newman: Hello Jerry.
Seth: And don’t forget your steamed broccoli.
Jerry: Hold it, Newman, you wouldn’t eat broccoli if it was deep fried in chocolate sauce.
Newman: I love broccoli, its good for you.
Jerry: Really? Then maybe you’d like to have a piece?
Newman: Gladly.
[Newman spits it out]
Newman: Vile weed!
Jerry: It’s Kramer isn’t it? The greasy door knob the constant licking of the fingers, he’s hooked to the chicken isn’t he?
Newman: Yes, now please. Someone, honey mustard.

(via The Chicken Roaster)

2

Elaine: Mr. Peterman.
[A boy cuts a piece of fruit in the background, Peterman scolds him in another language]
Elaine: You speak Burmese?
Peterman: No Elaine, that was gibberish. So did you have any trouble finding the place?
Elaine: No, you’re the only white poet warlord in the neighborhood.
Peterman: Are you an assassin?
Elaine: I work for your mail order catalog.
Peterman: You’re an errand girl, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill.
Elaine: Well, actually I do have a bill here, if you could just sign this expense, I think I could still make the last fan boat out of here.
Peterman: I’d be happy to Elaine … but I will have to see this hat.

(via The Chicken Roaster)

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