*phone rings*

Me: Thank you for calling (store), we’re open 24 hours, this is (my name), how may I help you?

Customer: Yeah, what time are you open tomorrow night?

Me: …We’re open 24 hours.

Customer: Well what does that mean?!

Me: …We’re open forever, we NEVER close.

Customer: Oh.

The mall is another vegetable,

barely breathing, eyes unresponsive,

life supported by a ventilator feeding

dollar bills and free energy drinks

into now-iron lungs unwilling to pull in


or anything close

to a good night’s sleep.

William had something like a heart attack,

stepped outside to the hospital,

chest shaking, his head set on a shelf,

and he was back in store

twelve hours later

to pacify the machine,

to give the people the shoes they need.

YAY! Congratulations on hitting 5 million subscribers, Markiplier!!

I know this isn’t much - especially compared to a lot of the really awesome stuff people have created for Mark -, but I wanted to try my hand at some Markimoo fanarts for this momentous occasion!

We’re all so happy for you, Markiplier! You are wonderful.

If you EVER yell and curse at a retail worker, barista, or register clerk in front of your children for ANY REASON, you’re lower than dirt to me. You’re literal shit. You don’t even deserve the right to live. Go flush yourself down the drain where you belong.