I feel the most lost and confused when I am around a lot of people. It’s like my circuits get crossed and I spaz out and forget how to act like myself.

I get nervous and I touch my hair a lot. I rub my face. I fidget with my hands. I will twirl my ring or fumble with my bracelet. I will look down. I will pretend I am on my phone. I will walk right past the person I want to talk to so I can bee line for the bathroom instead. I sweat. I stutter I stammer. I am 13 and unloved all over again.

I can pretend I have my shit together when I am all alone. I can even give other people advice so that they don’t ever have to feel an ounce of what I go through.

I am my own worst enemy. Every time I go somewhere or do something I am the master of my own self sabotage.

I wear the face but underneath I am a fraud. I am a faux Fendi in a shop full of originals and I would give anything just to stop being a knock off and just let go and be okay with being myself

I’m just so tired of Irene Adler working for Moriarty. It’s not clever. It’s not new. If you want Irene as a villain, fine, go ahead. But there’s never any reason for her to be working for Moriarty. He’s evil, she’s evil, obviously she’s his subordinate! No. Can we have an independent woman who remains an independent woman for once?

2

I fought until complete exhaustion but I need to keep my children alive, too! They need food and their city not being bombed 24/7. My children´s safety comes first, I can´t just fight until death, I have to care for my people, that´s my only priority. Another year of war and Venice is completely destroyed and all of my population starved or dead, maybe both. Do you want me to end like this? Independence, but at what cost?
Whole Italy was already defeated, I was the last city surrendering, we were brave but we were too weak and our enemy too strong.
I have my limits.

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