Tips for Dealing with Rejection

1. First, recognise that not everyone is like you. We have different likes and dislikes, we want different things, and we all see people and the world in different ways. Hence, it is natural that sometimes people will be upset, offended, or react differently from what we expected. It’s not necessarily personal – it’s more a reflection of the fact that we are different.
2. Try and leave your emotions aside and objective analyse the situation. Ask yourself: “Is this person’s reaction triggering something me?” It could be that you are over-reacting to a perceived rejection because of previous hurts, put downs and rejections. Alternatively, the other person’s reaction could be more related to what is going on in their life at the time (rather than being a personal rejection of you.)
3. Be alert to over-generalising and over-personalising. For example, look out for the tendency to think things like that “That means I’m a terrible person, and no-one likes me” or “I never do anything right. I always say and do the wrong thing. I’m always going to get it wrong and be rejected by everyone.”
4. Look for friendships and affirmation in other places. It’s wise to have a wide range of friends and acquaintance so that our self-image and self-esteem aren’t tied into how a few key people treat us, or react towards us.
5. Accept that snubs and rejections are part of life. We can’t please all of the people all of the time – we can only please some of the people some of the time. And while it’s wise to check to see if we display certain habits, traits or behaviors that often annoy others (and it is wise to work on changing those), at the end of the day we have to be ourselves. We can’t spend our lives walking on egg shells, or trying to be someone we were never meant to be.

I think my biggest fear in life is falling in love with someone that doesn’t feel the same about me. Because you can’t help who you fall in love with and nothing would hurt worse than being in love with someone you will never have a chance with. Rejection kills, but rejection from the only one that matters to you is like a brutal knife to the chest. And there isn’t anything you can do about it.

I can’t make you miss me.
I can’t make you think about me.
I can’t make you feel anything anymore.
And I’m sorry.
I am so sorry for everything that I have done.
And I’m sorry that I make myself miss you
and I’m sorry that I make myself think about you
because in all honesty I just want you to come back and melt the ice in my heart that formed when you left.
—  sitting with my family while losing it mentally. 
Some Truths about Rejection

1. Rejection is simply the reaction or opinion of another person.

2. Rejection is powerless without your co-operation.

3. Rejection shows you others’ true colours, exposes all enemies, and closes every wrong door.

4. Rejection reveals those incapable of distinguishing your true worth.

5. Rejection is a guide, leading you away from deadened relationships while directing you towards healthy, positive relationships.

6. Rejection reveals who is intimidated by your potential.

7. Rejection reveals who or what doesn’t belong in your future.

8. Rejection is motivation to go in a new direction.

Tracey Mitchell (abridged)

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