Some Truths about Rejection

1. Rejection is simply the reaction or opinion of another person.

2. Rejection is powerless without your co-operation.

3. Rejection shows you others’ true colours, exposes all enemies, and closes every wrong door.

4. Rejection reveals those incapable of distinguishing your true worth.

5. Rejection is a guide, leading you away from deadened relationships while directing you towards healthy, positive relationships.

6. Rejection reveals who is intimidated by your potential.

7. Rejection reveals who or what doesn’t belong in your future.

8. Rejection is motivation to go in a new direction.

Tracey Mitchell (abridged)

i can’t handle
walking past you
like we didn’t have the
time of our lives together
i can’t handle looking at you
and not holding you in warmth
and pretending like i never loved you
but i should’ve known it was goodbye
from the start
from the first shy glances
and cliche butterflies swarming
and churning in my stomach
from the exquisite sadness
when i gave you my heart
to when you broke it and crushed it
in the palms of your hands
it was a series of beautiful events
that were bound to end
and however we label it
wherever we leave it,
i know we need to let it go
but here’s to good times
here’s to goodbye
—  here’s to good times - n.h.s [percussionhearts]
Tips for Dealing with Rejection

1. First, recognise that not everyone is like you. We have different likes and dislikes, we want different things, and we all see people and the world in different ways. Hence, it is natural that sometimes people will be upset, offended, or react differently from what we expected. It’s not necessarily personal – it’s more a reflection of the fact that we are different.
2. Try and leave your emotions aside and objective analyse the situation. Ask yourself: “Is this person’s reaction triggering something me?” It could be that you are over-reacting to a perceived rejection because of previous hurts, put downs and rejections. Alternatively, the other person’s reaction could be more related to what is going on in their life at the time (rather than being a personal rejection of you.)
3. Be alert to over-generalising and over-personalising. For example, look out for the tendency to think things like that “That means I’m a terrible person, and no-one likes me” or “I never do anything right. I always say and do the wrong thing. I’m always going to get it wrong and be rejected by everyone.”
4. Look for friendships and affirmation in other places. It’s wise to have a wide range of friends and acquaintance so that our self-image and self-esteem aren’t tied into how a few key people treat us, or react towards us.
5. Accept that snubs and rejections are part of life. We can’t please all of the people all of the time – we can only please some of the people some of the time. And while it’s wise to check to see if we display certain habits, traits or behaviors that often annoy others (and it is wise to work on changing those), at the end of the day we have to be ourselves. We can’t spend our lives walking on egg shells, or trying to be someone we were never meant to be.

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