I'm only asking you to give a shit.

It’s funny that people say this world is fucked.

I believe that people can change, and that people deserve second, third, even fourth chances-and countless ones after that. If people cared even half as much as I did about other people, even ones they didn’t know, the world would be a better place. 

I’ve been told too many times not to get into social work. But why is it so hard for anyone to just reach out and help someone? Even with simple things such as giving someone a kind ‘hello’ or a smile. Not everyone has to be a hero. 

It’s such a high turn over
You’ll be so depressed

You won’t make nearly enough money 

I’m sorry, but money has never. ever. been more important than the well being of a fellow human being. And if people would just shut up, and help each other, rather than fight each other, there wouldn’t be such a high turnover and there would be much less stress in life.

Our society is so focused on punishing those labeled criminal. God forbid someone make a mistake. If we focused on rehabilitation instead of just serving jail time, or being punished society in general would be better. I’m not saying perfect, but I truly feel like younger generations would be deterred from whatever societal ill is the problem.

And please. Stop saying society is fucked. You’re part of it too, so if society is fucked up then so are you. 
If you want it fixed, then get up and do something about it. 

So Fred Phelps just died, but unlike a lot of people, being a Taoist, instead of imagining Phelps burning in hell, things get… complicated, since unlike Buddhism mean people like Phelps would be sent to some kinda paranormal rehab resembling Bad Anon from Wreck-It Ralph as far as I can give a visual shorthand for such an out there conception of the afterlife, Eva Wong’s Taoism: An Essential Guide states on page 124:

The Taoist notion of the underworld, despite the influence of popular Buddhism, is not a hell. It is not a place of punishment but a place of learning and rehabilitation. Dead souls who begrudge their fate and still cling to the mortal world are taught to accept the cycle of life and death and cease haunting the mortal realm.

I’m not trying to be some edgy blogger blowing the minds of stoners or anything, but I’d wanted to share this nugget of possibility with you all at an appropriate time. Because maybe hell’s not the only option here.

Physio at last!

So had my first physio appointment today and it would seem the reason I keep having such terrible pain is because my sciatic nerve seems to have gotten caught up with my peroneal tendon when it was healing up, so it’s permanently attached to the scar tissue.  I’ve experienced some serious pain with my ankle and it would seem it wasn’t all in my head as a nurse in A&E told me!

Anyway, I’ve now been given some exercises to try over the next week and a half to see if there’s any improvement and she was pleased I’d started pilates and looking into yoga. So will be starting yoga on fridays!  I didn’t realised how bad my balance had gotten, seriously couldn’t stand on one foot without holding onto something! My foot is also now heavily strapped and if it works and helps I’m to go in again and get it restrapped next week :)  Very helpful physio - it makes such a difference to have someone nice and listen to you! Made me smile.

Am a very happy bunny anyway, off to pilates at 1ish, am feeling extra motivated. I want to make myself strong again :)  Hope you have an excellent start to your week! 

12 Angry Men (1957)

“What do you want?”
“I’d like to apply for the job.”
“There’s no job.”
“But there’s a sign in your window.”
“Didn’t you hear me? I said there’s no job.”
“I could do that job.”
“Look, I know who you are. You’re the kid who stuck his own father.”
“I didn’t do it.”
“Yeah right.”
“I was found not guilty.”
“You think I want a little criminal like you working here? Get out of my shop. You’re not welcome.”

Literally barely hanging on… truing to study bits and pueces like I have been for psychology class… math… just grrrr… dont like the teaching method.
Juggling between boyfriend, friends, family, trying to lose my fat, keeping track of the sleep journal, sight journal (for proof of significant changes), then trying to juggle those Vocational Rehabilitiation which I havent heard back since a month or 2…
So much to juggle… with lots of doubts… am I truly ready to couqure music therapy, or is that just another “dream” to be crushed? I really hope its NOT another dream to be crushed… but at the same time I just dont feel ready… maybe next year I should wait for next year. Get back with my lesson for a year, get another job, save a lot, and focus on ME for a while and try to take care of myself. Because latrly I feel like I havent been taking care of myself and the school, finding jobs, and literally studying and thinking about the future and planningnout all precautions and consequences… (ew, too much thinking…).
“Keep holding on, because we’ll make it through… you’ll make it through” ~Kelly Clarkson.

Old recovering irish dancer...

So I’ve been very stubborn with myself and I’ve decided that it doesn’t matter what age I am, if I want to dance, I will dance!  

Just a quick bit of background on this.  I danced from the age of about 5 until close to 18, I took part in various competitions throughout this period, as well as displays. I was a pretty good dancer in my time, good spring in my feet and capable of learning steps within the first week or at least by the second week.  

I started irish dancing again when I was 28 at the end of Jan 2010. Well I’d officially started a few months before this with another class but that was a massive waste of time! Anyway in Jan 2010, the class I had been originally attending fell apart, the teacher disappeared and didn’t update any of us and we’d nowhere fixed to go and dance!  So I decided there should be a class specifically for adults to learn irish dancing.  So I decided to start one.  

So as well as teaching, I was attending another dancing class just outside Brighton.  I went to this class specifically to improve my dancing again and to go a class where I’m taught, rather than having to teach everything.  This class was brilliant, it helped my technique and I’ve learnt some of the more modern steps etc.  Unfortunately it’s all fallen apart slightly….actually I’ve fallen apart slightly.  

I’ve been having problems since about November 2010 with shin splints, well shin splint on my left leg.  Not your normal jogging splints but lovely dancer splints.  The proper term is Posteromedial shin splints.  These run from my ankle up the inside of my leg right into inside my knee, the pain can and often does take me off my feet.  

Anyway, I’ve been dealing with it by icing etc and rested it all over christmas, but to no avail.  My leg was getting worse instead of better.  I kept dancing.  My outer ankle started to get very painful, to the point that after about 10mins of dancing my leg/ankle would stop me in my tracks (but I managed to get moving again shortly after).  I was even having pain throughout the day just walking about.  Time to get sorted me thinks, it is coming up to St Patrick’s day, really need to be functioning!  So I went to a physio and the first thing was I should stop dancing….not gonna happen.  I teach now for heavens sake!!  

So instead he’s checked me over and it all relates to my left hip and lack of muscle control.  I still needed to rein in my dancing as I was now dancing up to 4 times a week.  So I did the sensible thing and quit my Tuesday class, was utterly gutted.  I did a display with them, got my left foot tangled in the sound cables and left myself in lots of pain.  Time to stop.  

So now I’m only dancing twice a week and I’ve managed to join a yoga class on Tuesdays to help strengthen myself up.  I’m also doing physio exercises to retrain my left leg. 

So now that I’ve had a good cleansing whinge, I wanted to point out the positive.  

I’m still dancing.  If you want something enough you will keep at it somehow.  I’m getting stronger as I have to do the exercise otherwise I can’t dance! I’ll have a bikini body in no time!  I’ve demonstrated that even us older dancers can still beat injury and dance.

I’ve set myself a few goals this year.  I will compete in a feis.  I will compete in the British Open at the end of the year.  I will put together at least 4 new dances for my girls and a few more for me. I may even make my solo dress! 

Now back to the prep for St Patrick’s day!! We’ve 3 displays and a céilí to organise!