TG: hey man
TT: You’re home early. I thought you were bound for Egbert’s house like an hour ago.
TT: Sleepover and everything planned.
TG: he bailed on me last minute
TG: had my bags packed was standing down at the bus stop literally about to get on the bus and he texts me all
TG: oh shit dude my dad came back from his business trip early gotta cancel
TG: im like what the fuck man i cant refund these bus tickets
TT: Cheeto? -Dirk offers the bag. It’s a sympathy move.-
TG: [Dave sulkily grabs a handful of cheetos and shoves them in his mouth while slouching further down on the couch. He chews, swallows and then mumbles a quiet thanks.]
TG: anyway it wasnt a sleepover that shits for babies and teenage girls
TG: it was gonna be a bro weekend with camping and wilderness and shit
TG: we were going to wrestle bears and streak in the woods and climb trees
TT: Right, right. My bad. -Dirk rolls his eyes, and reaches over to muss Dave’s hair with his orange-fuzzed hand.-
TG: “Dude, no.” [Dave used his clean hand to ruffle the cheeto dust out of his hair before it could settle. Typical Dirk.]
TT: Tell you what.
TT: I’ll pay for your next round of tickets if you’ll chill about me bringing English over for dinner on Fridays.
TG: ugh do you have to bring him over hes such a dweeb its embarrassing man
TG: why are you settling for a nerd like him hes a grade a loser
TT: We can start jabbing at each others’ significant other or you can fucking give it up but either way I will come out on top, dude.
TG: john isnt my s/o
TG: hes just my br/o
TT: It’s about time we realized this household is solely attracted to buck teeth and a despair worthy understanding of irony.
TG: hey dont lump me in with your poor taste in men
TG: i have higher standards than that thank you very much
TT: -Dirk flicks a cheeto at him, almost laughing at the idea.- Higher standards, my shapely ass.
TT: Face it, we’re weak to the dweebery.
TG: [It pings off his cheek, and Dave frowns as he grabs it from where it lands and pops it in his mouth. 3 second rule.]
TT: I’m just saying, bro.
TT: Sooner or later I’ll have to kick your ass or some shit.
TT: Jake practically cried his pretty green eyes out the other day over this. He actually gives a shit.
TG: what the hell are you doing talking to jake about my theoretical and completely nonexistent love life with john
TT: Nowhere in hell, why would I do that? I’m telling you Jake’s starting to wear down thanks to your attitude and he admitted it.
TG: jake needs to mind his own fucking business
TT: He’s not going to replace you.
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