Please fire me. An old redneck man came into the store and wanted to give me $100 to cut off my ponytail and give it to him because it would look good in his rear view mirror in his truck. Then he told me that with my new found wealth I can quit my job and live free like a bird. God, I hate being cashier.

Another staple of country music and redneck culture is the ultimate rejection of anything that isn’t simple. Aimlessly riding a tractor for hours and hours may seem like an abstract way to eliminate the nation’s supply of diesel fuel, but to a country music lyricist, it’s hitting the jackpot. If you’ve ever seen any movie that glorifies redneck existence, their days’ work begins with getting coffee from a machine that looks like it was invented before the electricity that powers it. Coffee shops, with their often artificial atmospheres and seemingly unnecessary complexity, are the antithesis to this.

Maybe it’s because hearing someone with a Southern accent pronounce “cappuccino” sounds like Hank Williams Jr. trying to explain all the things that he enjoys about Asia, but it could also be due to the way coffee shops present themselves. They, despite their miniscule efforts, have been established as the barometers of trendiness in society. Just as you’ll see Southern people presented on film as a constant loop of duct-tape mishap, the inside of every coffee shop is shown to be an insufferably cool place, where a stream of people in their mid-20s spout buzzwords with a lethal mix of snobbishness and irony.

6 Unshakable Beliefs You Develop Growing Up a Redneck