I see so many people who are scared of or resistant to recovery because they don’t want all the work they put into their weight loss to go to waste. They spent years on this and they don’t want to throw it away.
You have to throw it away
You built a house. You spent years building a house where you hid all your feelings and dark and painful thoughts. You know every hall and staircase and window frame. The floor boards practically have grooves from where you’ve walked over them thousands of times. But the house is rotting. There are holes in the floor you could fall through and there’s mold giving you allergies and mildew all over the walls. The roof leaks and the house is freezing. You spent so much time building this house and living in it so saying goodbye is so hard. You know it’s the healthy decision, but you don’t feel entirely ready to let go.
You might never feel 100% ready to say goodbye. Sometimes you have to do things anyway because they are the best choices available. There isn’t a painless choice here. But there is a choice that will potentially make you happy and healthy, and one that will drag you further down.
You could be crushed in that rotting house you’re so attached to. Or you could tear it down, pick up the pieces, and start over building a home that will actually last. Build yourself a house that’s beautiful and welcoming and warm instead of dark and lonely.