forgiving your abuser doesn’t mean continuing to let them abuse you. it doesn’t mean staying an abusive relationship
like you could literally forgive someone for every abuse they inflicted on you and it wouldn’t mean you should go back to them
from what i’ve found, forgiveness is for yourself. does your abuser deserve your forgiveness? no. should you still give it? yes, because there is so much freedom to be found in letting go of bitterness and allowing your wounds to heal. it’s like… okay, so the person who abuses you (in my case, emotionally) causes a lot of damage. deep cuts. resentment is a like a poison, it infects your wounds and makes them worse. you dwell on all the reasons you have to hate this person and stay angry, and it keeps those wounds open and hurting.
when you choose to forgive someone, it’s like you are washing your cuts with water. cleaning out the bad stuff in your body and your spirit. once they’re clean, you can start to move forward. your wounds are healing, and you don’t have to worry about shifting wrong and causing them to hurt again or to open up. you remove yourself from the person who inflicted them on you so they can’t hurt you again. and you let yourself heal, not lingering on your hatred of them. healing is a long and unpleasant process, and so is forgiveness. but i think that it is necessary.
note: i am not condemning people who have not or will not forgive their abusers. i personally am finding, however, that i am much healthier emotionally in trying to forgive my father for the abuse he has inflicted on me.