A Bond That Can't Be Broken

"This isn’t right…" You said, with your hands in Sams, avoiding eye contact.

"(Y/N), he’s not Dean anymore. Not your Dean. This is tearing you apart, and I just want you know that I’m here for you, okay? I love you." Sam said.

You looked up and stared into his beautiful hazel eyes for a moment, before leaning in and closing the space between your lips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"My own brother, Y/N?" Dean yelled, tears threatening to fall, “You seriously cheated on me with my own brother?!?”

"You were a demon, Dean! You even attacked me, you made this choice and he was there to comfort me while you were out sleeping with hookers and killing store employees.” You retorted. You still loved Dean, but just a bit less after him becoming a demon.

"But I still love you, please, please come back to me. I swear, on my life I will never hurt you again (Y/N).” dean plead. Despite his begging, you tuned and walked away.

He was now human again, and living in the bunker, and it was a nasty surprise for him when you headed towards Sams room that instead of his when you were going to bed. And even more of a surprise when you came back out with pajamas on and went into his room.

Dean came into the room after you are looked at you with confusion, “Wait… You’re choosing me over him?” You nodded and tears fell from his eyes as he rushed over to you and gathered you into his arms and laid the two of you on his bed. He graced your face with kisses all over. His arms felt great wrapped around you again. You missed his musk and everything about him that made him, well, Dean, but you didn’t feel right, but you knew exactly why. Because you had no plan of leaving Sam.

The next morning Sam and you were up first. You walked into the kitchen to find him making coffee, and as soon as he heard your foot steps he turned around.

"You slept with him last night?!?" He questioned loudly.

"Well, I….. I mean, not in that way but.. Yeah, I mean I.."

"Yes or no, (Y/N)?"

You nodded and Sam sighed. “Why?” he asked “Did everything that we said and did mean nothing to you? Does him being back change all of it?” He looked at you and you looked away, tears burning your eyes, but he continued “Huh? Am I going to have to pretend that it never even happened?!”

You ran over to him and wrapped your arms around his torso, with you hands clutching the back of his shirt.

"Sam I’m so sorry, I just loved him so much, now that he’s back how am I going to just forget what we had? I love you so much, you were there for me, and I want you, but it’s so hard…" you sobbed.

"Shhhh, shhh, it’s okay." he said as he rubbed your back.

It was just your luck that Dean walked in right then. Sams face turned stern and you continued to cry onto his shirt.

"What’s going on? (Y/N) you said you chose me…"

"She lied. I’m with her now, and you don’t deserve her." Sam answered for you.

Dean walked forward, chest puffed up, apparently ready to fight for you, Sam moved you out of the way and did the same as his brother. They were standing toe to toe and Sam looked down at Dean,

You’re going to stay away from her, or I’m going to make you.”  he growled. That’s when Dean threw the first punch, straight to Sams jaw. You fled to another room and listened, waiting for it to end.

After after a good ten minutes of nothing but yelling and beating each other, that finally stopped. You decided to go back into the kitchen and what you Sam would scar you forever. Dean was sitting on Sams legs, hands on his knife… that was currently in Sams chest. You rushed over to them and pushed Dean off, and knelt by Sam, but it was too late, the life had already drained from his eyes and his last breathe had escaped.

You got up and looked at Dean. No, not Dean. “How could you…”

He didn’t answer.

HOW COULD YOU?!?!?” you screamed at the top of your lungs.

"I had to (Y/N), for you, so we could be together again." he whispered.

"Dean we will never be together again. You may be human again, but you will always be a monster. Get out of this bunker right now. Say another word to me and the next chest that knife will be going through, is yours.”

He stood up and stared at you for a second, then turned and left. When you heard the bunker door shut, you broke down. You gripped Sams shoulders and pulled his lifeless form into your arms. First you lost your Dean, now you lost your Sam.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been a week since Sam died. You knew you should’ve given him a hunters funeral by now, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. So there he lay, on the same spot he died at. You had took his shirt off and cleaned the blood up, but it was still a dead body. Today was the day you would finally do it.

You did your best to drag his body out into the woods by the bunker. You still talked to him every time you bumped into something or dragged himt he wrong way. 

"Oops! Sorry!"

"Oh, I didn’t see that tree, here let me just…" and you scooted him over so you had a more clear path, "There we go."

Once you finally made it the the spot you had chose you said a few words and pulled out the lighter he had given you a few weeks back. 

You lit it up and right as you were about to finish this, his body gasped and flew into a sitting position. You couldn’t believe your eyes, Sam was back? It couldn’t be. He took in his surroundings and then his eyes found you. He immediately got up and tried to hug you, but you backed away. Then you drew out your knife.

"Stay back!" you warned.

"No, It’s me really!" he said, holding up his hands. Then he slowly moved to roll up a sleeve. You reached over and cut his arm, then pulled out a small bottle of holy water and splashed him. he didn’t have a non-human reaction to either. Once you realized it was really him, you flew into his arms, and both of you rejoiced.

Heading back to the bunker, he asked the big question. 

"Who brought me back?" he said, even though you both had a clue.

"I think we both know who-"

"Hello, Sam and (Y/N)." 

There stood Crowley infront of the two of you. You pulled out your knife and stood ready to attack, if needed.

"Easy, love. I’m only here to deliver something." he said and handed you a sealed letter, then disappeared at the snap of his fingers.

You and Sam headed into the bunker and sat down in the library. For a second you stared at the letter, then you opened to read it.

"I saw a quote once. It said "If you love something let it go." Well, I think it said more than that, but that’s the part I remember. I’m letting you go, but trust that I’ll never forget or stop loving you, (Y/N).  I think that’s the thing about love. It never really goes away. It fades until it’s a dim little light, but it remains there. I’ve loved you since the day we met, and while I hang on chains in Hell, I’ll still love you. I’ll think about you everyday. You and Sammy, and the happy life I want you two to have together. Don’t worry about me and don’t try to bring me back, It was gonna end like this anyway.  I know I’ve done horrible things to you, but you’re still the light at the end of the tunnel I’ll never get to reach, but I’d die a thousand times before I let you live a sad life. I can only ever hope that he makes you as happy as you made me.

                                                                            Dean.”

 It was three weeks later. Although Dean told the two of you not to save him, no matter how many horrible things he did to you and Sam, and even though Sam loved you, you had to accept the fact that you were never going to be more important than the brothers were to each other. And that’s what you told yourself as you read over the letter Sam left you after he did the exact opposite of what Dean told him.

As much as I care for you you, my place is with my brother. I think the quote he referred to was right. “If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they are yours, if they don’t, they never were.” and I’m doing just that. I’m returning to him. I love you.”

                                                                                        “-Sam”

Every June, for three days, our city opens private gardens to public. And when I heard that today is the first day that these secret gardens would open, I decided to come without having second thoughts, not just because I love gardens, but also because my mind seeks for peace. In the past days, too much negativity and chaos consumed my entire being, so today, I finally convinced myself to go out and take a break.

After wearing my blue floral dress and preparing myself, I finally stepped out of my apartment’s door. The weather is good for walking today, so I decided to just walk since the nearest private garden is just blocks away from my place. As I walked down the pavement, I have realized that it’s been a while since the sunlight caressed my freckled skin. It’s been a while since I strolled around this city. I have found out that some things could change even in the shortest period of time. My neighbor’s hair, the store next to my place, the streets, the trees, people’s smile, they all have changed within the numbered days. That’s when I realized that for the past days, I became very hard on myself. I am a writer, and writers tend to create their own world, an escape to the real world. But in my case, I stayed too much then I caged myself in the world I created and isolated myself from the world I really belong to.

But today is the day for freedom. Today, I just want to breathe fresh air and enjoy myself. I arrived at the place just before the gate of the private garden opens. There are lots of people waiting in front of the large vintage gate that separates us from the garden. There are teenagers, children, couples, families, just random people who want to see the secret paradise behind this facade in front of us and maybe some who also want peace of mind. The gate opened after five minutes of waiting and I immediately smiled as soon as I saw what’s behind the gate. It is indeed a secret paradise in the city. The sight and scent of the blossoming flowers, the ground carpeted with kaleidoscope of flowers, the floral mosaics, the garden of tulips, everything feels just like paradise.

I decided to wander around the garden. I can see people as awestruck as I am taking pictures, capturing every moment, hoping that it would preserve their memories about this paradise. I smiled instantly at the thought of memories. I just feel so grateful for my mind, for my memory, that I am able to record every moment that moved me. As I continue walking, someone caught my attention. I saw this tall guy leaning against the tree and his eyes closed. I can’t help but to stare at him. Despite of the distance between us, the fine feature of his face is still visible to me. Square face with angular jaw-line, pointed nose, thick eyebrow, long lashes, he’s indeed a masterpiece. I stared at him for seconds, then minutes, wishing he would open his eyes and he did. He has tired gray-blue eyes that suits his bed hair.

I don’t know what was I thinking of at the moment but I decided to stay for more minutes just to observe. He was still leaning against the tree, he opened his eyes but didn’t moved. Seconds after, his eyes now moving, observing, and I then wondered what was he thinking about. All I know is he’s oblivious of the world and he’s somewhere far from reality. I looked at him for minutes, observing every inch of him, wishing I could read the thoughts inside his mind; hoping I could draw conclusions from the look upon his face. Then suddenly I found myself fascinated with the way his eyes blink, the way his lips move and the way his eyes turn to different directions like he’s searching for something the human eyes can’t see. I found myself wanting to catch his eyes with my eyes. I found myself wishing I could know him and hoping the inside of him is far beautiful than what I can see from the outside of him. That’s when I figured out that I could see part of someone’s beauty by merely observing them for minutes, when they are in their most peaceful state. 

Minutes after, he stared moving, ready to leave. He’s now heading to the gate, leaving me frozen from where I am standing. I just stared at him as he walks away, my heart beating fast. I felt something, butterflies, I felt butterflies inside me. And then I saw his fading shadow and I just smiled. I then looked around the place once again. And I know from this moment, I would keep reminding myself that gardens are where beautiful flowers grow and where someone’s naked beauty like his could possibly see.

And later when I am home, I would write about today and how I found peace in him. 

Daily Bookish Challenge | Day Seven: Saturday, September 20

Daily Bookish Challenges | Trees of Reverie September Read-A-Thon

Day Seven: Saturday, September 20:

What are the genres or types of books that you read least often or not at all?

Prompts:

  • You may like to focus on one genre or type, or talk about several for this Bookish Challenge.
  • What is the reason why you don’t read these types of books?
  • Would you like to read more books from these genres?
  • If you do, make a list of ten books that you’d like to try from this genre. You aren’t required to hold yourself to this list, but it may give you a good starting point if you decide to read more from this genre.
  • Is there anything else that you’d like to discuss in regards to this Bookish Challenge?

The prompts are to be used as a guide so you may respond to this Bookish Challenge in any way you like. Responses can be posted on any form of social media, but please link back to the original post so that others can take part. Remember to tag your response with the official hashtags for the Read-A-Thon and Bookish Challenge. Don’t forget to submit your link below.

| #treesofreveriereadathon | #treesofreveriebookishchallenge |

8

Sanctuaria: Where Design Meets Biology by Morgan Ruben Jansen op de Haar

Morgan Ruben Jansen op de Haar recently graduated from the Utrecht School of the Arts in Product Design where he created Sanctuaria as his graduate project.

Sanctuaria consists of a series of capsules that contain endangered rainforest flora such as orchids, ferns and mosses that will be able to survive regardless of what happens to their natural habitat. The project features two as of yet unnamed species of orchid obtained from cut trees in Asia, their homeland already destroyed. Within the capsules they find their last refuge.

The capsules are suspended within frames made of wood, stone and metal—materials that have been used by man in almost every era. The plants themselves are grown on durable synthetic materials such as hygrolon and Perspex.

The inspiration for this project comes from Morgan’s lifelong fascination with nature and its complex ecosystems as well as his experience interning with Formafantasma.

The project was made possible with support by a botanist from the Hortus Botanicus Leiden, the Glassworkshop of the Utrecht University and the research institute Fraunhofer COMEDD. 

I am a product of endless books. My father bought all the books he read and never got rid of any of them. There were books in the study, books in the drawing room, books in the cloakroom, books (two deep) in the great bookcase on the landing, books in a bedroom, books piled as high as my shoulder in the cistern attic, books of all kinds reflecting every transient stage of my parents’ interest, books readable and unreadable, books suitable for a child and books most emphatically not. Nothing was forbidden me. In the seemingly endless rainy afternoons I took volume after volume from the shelves. I had always the same certainty of finding a book that was new to me as a man who walks into a field has of finding a new blade of grass.

- C. S. Lewis

(by x)

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