This question has made the most thought and conversation out of all of the ones we’ve gotten so far, so good for you. Sorry for the delay in response, we really needed to think.
Am I concerned? Of course. But what parent isn’t concerned about one thing or another when raising their child? Raven is going to have so much influence, not just from us, but from the outside world. All we can do is do our best to influence her in what we believe to be the right direction.
Our household is definitely not standard (hence our url, nontradparents). Our goal is to raise her to know that she has, above all else, the CHOICE to live however she wants to live. She has the freedom to CHOOSE to serve someone (or be served, I don’t think Raven would be a submissive but who knows), or not to, just like we do. Or she could be asexual or she could be straight and completely vanilla. Ultimately, what we want is for her to choose to live her life in the way that she feels compelled to. She does not have to hide her needs. It has been very difficult for me to admit to myself and others (namely my parents) that I need polyamory and to be a submissive. I don’t want that to be difficult for Raven or any other future children. I think Raven should be able to just do whatever and we would be okay with it. Even if we didn’t necessarily agree, I’d like to think that we’ll be particularly understanding.
Of course we are going to be explaining the consensual nature of our relationship as she gets older. I imagine that some things will be apparent before we have a “talk” with her, and she’ll be like duh, I know, I don’t want to hear about it. Mom 1 and I are both pro-equality (and original feminism, though we’re not akin to the current man-hating that some (SOME) feminists have begun to partake in) . We’re also both very politically liberal (Sir is a Republican). Mom 1 and I are both very socially dominant and have a lot of friends. We’re both natural social leaders. Sir, therefor, is the only man we submit to. I think that seeing us with other people will help Raven to understand that it’s just our relationship, not how we must behave towards all men all of the time.
Additionally, Raven does not see us being disciplined. She does not see the kneeling and the more intense moments of the D/s relationship. Mostly what she sees is us asking Him permission for things and getting things for Him. The agreement in our relationship is that the D/s does not come into play when making parenting decisions, and so Raven will NEVER see Him saying “we’re punishing her this way because I’m in charge” or whatever.
So yes, the worry is there, but our hope is that it will not give her problems later on. Thank you for asking! Keep up the questions!