I don’t usually get involved in this argument, but with the whole “RC” claims with regards to Hook kissing Emma in her apartment when she didn’t remember him —

—first off, he immediately said “I was hoping you felt as I did,” implying, based on legitimate evidence, considering the last time they kissed that it was Emma who grabbed his collar and made the move, that he thought this was a MUTUAL thing…..Isn’t rape when the contact is NOT mutual?

—second, he apologized. 

Let me underline that. 

He apologized. 

He realized his actions were, in this specific case, not reciprocated or appreciated and he attempted to make amends

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—thirdly, can we please remember that Hook is from a FAIRYTALE world, and Emma has grown up in the REAL one? 

In the Fairytale world, kissing people you have a connection with to wake them from curses is a NORMAL THING. 

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(case in point)

It is in the REAL world where this is not normal. So therefore, from Killian’s background, attempting to kiss Emma to bring her out of her cursed state is something commonly done in his land, so why would he not try it? 

The argument against this is attempting to use real world rules on characters that are from a place that follows DIFFERENT rules, and isn’t even AWARE of the rules set up in this new world. 

(And again, I reiterate, he APOLOGIZED, realized he’d gone to far, and stepped back and let her lead for the rest of the dang flabbin’ season). 

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So yeah, that’s just my thoughts…. Again, I usually don’t get involved, but I don’t like seeing misrepresentation, and I just wanted to remind people of just a few things we forget when we watch a show about fairytales. 

Watch on gaywrites.org

"How the Media Failed Women in 2013," courtesy of Miss Representation. This is mind-boggling and you must watch it right now.

While reporting on the verdict and sentencing of the two Steubenville rapists, the CNN news personalities told us repeatedly how difficult it was to watch these boy’s lives being destroyed. How their crime will haunt them.

These criminals destroyed their own lives, when they decided to repeatedly rape an incapacitated girl. When they decided to film and share their horrific crime.

Not once did CNN mention the person whose life was most destroyed by their crime, who will also be haunted for life by their crime… their victim. The young girl who they violated and raped.

Not once while they discussed the pain and humiliation these vicious and cruel criminals now face, did they acknowledge that her life was also destroyed, by them. That she would have to carry around the pain, humiliation, self doubt and self loathing, the stigma of rape, for the rest of her life. Not once did the CNN pundits mention the pain and humiliation these criminals repeatedly inflicted on their victim.

Not once.

The media, and it’s personalities have a huge rule to play in shaping public opinion and public perception. With that role comes an equall responsibility to ensure they use that role for the good of society.

CNN’s coverage of that story failed to meet that responsibility. Failed miserably. The on air personalities did nothing more than promulgate rape culture in America. A culture that leads to someone being raped or sexually assaulted every two minutes.

Every Two Minutes.

CNN, We are sure the 97% of rapists who will never spend a day in jail appreciated your sympathetic coverage of these two criminals.

The rest of us did not. We demand an on air apology for your disgustingly biased coverage. Further, we demand that you use your position as a premier news network to focus on changing rape culture in America. Devote an hour long, prime time segment to rape, it’s victims, what can be done to prevent it, and how to change the culture that gives rise to this violent crime.

If, during a moment when rape victims are speaking out in force to detail the awful treatment they endure at the hands of school administrators, police and the criminal justice system, you’re using your time, energy and published words to argue that America’s rape problem is overblown … perhaps a little Twitter heat should be the last thing you’re worried about. Being on the wrong side of history should be the first.

And if, after hearing story after story of women abused by attackers and then the system meant to protect them, you spend your time opining that poor men have to go through the trouble of getting an explicit “yes” from their partners before engaging in sexual acts, maybe you need to spend less time writing and more time on a therapist’s couch. After all, who besides a rapist thinks that getting an enthusiastic “yes” to sex is an unreasonable standard?

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Cognitive therapist Mary Anne Layden on predatorial permission-giving beliefs and the grooming of victims in a porned digital-information age.

"When information is passed using words the listener typically weighs and assesses the believability of the message. When we hear words we tend to hear them as ideas or opinions, often the listener is counter-arguing against those ideas inside their heads. You can be deciding right now that what I’m saying doesn’t make any sense and you can be challenging my verbal statements internally. But unlike words, pictures don’t work that way.

None of you are counter-arguing against the fact that I’m sitting here or that this is a table. Pictures are mentally processed as events, as facts, and are stored unbuffered and unchallenged. If you see it, then it happened and is true. Pictures are truly worth a thousand words.

The Internet is an ideal medium for the spread of sexual permission giving beliefs. The sexual Internet sites by their very nature say that sex is a commodity for sale. Anything that you can buy, you can steal.

Sexual images of women and children are entertainment, sexual access becomes an entitlement, the individuals who are in these pictures do not appear to feel degraded, abused, physically and visually invaded. They appear to be enjoying the interaction. It’s an event.

Perpetrators now ‘know’ that children like to have sex with adults, they know it’s true because they have seen it. Perpetrators show these images to children to break down the inhibitions of children. Children now ‘know’ that children like to have sex with adults. They know it’s true because they have seen it.

For both the predator and the child these images produce permission-giving beliefs.” - Dr. Mary Anne Layden, Porn in Library

Why We Need SlutWalk: A study in comments

trigger warning

There’s been some controversy over the SlutWalk protests taking place across the world. There’s a lot to say, but until I have the time to write something comprehensive, I thought I would let oh-so-lovely commenters from around the globe demonstrate why SlutWalks are so desperately needed. 

CNN:

I kind of feel sorry for the police officer. I understand that he wasn’t blaming victims but it has all been blown out of proportion. I mean we prosecute thieves but we also tell people to lock their doors when they go out.”

“Seriously if you wish to dress sexy and strut your stuff you should expect sexual violence. Yes you can blame the man who cannot control himself but if he is found guilty you should also be found guilty of being so inviting.”

you women that dress provocatively will attract the pervert/rapist whatever nearby. simple as that. when they see boobs and thigh and butt they all go nuts. so dont entice them as much as possible.”

you shows your assets off you are just as much at fault if you get raped.”

 “Do not just blame the person doing the assaulting if you are going to run around strutting your stuff.”

if i didn’t want my car to be broke in. i would lock the doors and keep valuables out of site. will that save it? no, but it lowers my risk. ladies, carry mace and learn to fight otherwise you might make yourself a victim by giving wrong impressions.”

 You wouldn’t be walking through a safari park smelling of bacon, would you?”

If you dress like a billboard, you are going to get customers. You can’t just do whatever you want and expect everyone to think what you demand. You are not that special.”

 The Globe and Mail:

“It’s commonplace to see women walking around with cleavage exposed; at a hospital the other day a delightful young lady leaned over to fill out a form and actually revealed a nipple — but don’t look, whatever you do. How many parents have you heard worrying about their teen daughters dressing like, uh, sex workers — but don’t glance at them in case you’re accused of something foul. Something’s obviously being invited — but don’t dare think what that might be.”

“women should be aware that sexy dressing does increase the risk of unwanted attention.” 

“Young women need to take more responsibility for their actions. Body language, including how you dress, send out messages - and such messages may be misinterpreted by young men. Yes, young men have a responsibility as well, but if women are not looking for attention from men, then don’t dress in ways that will surely get it and then act all innocent!!! That is insulting to other women!!!”

“Ladies, you have chosen a name that invites abuse”


The Sydney Morning Herald:

"My dear old mother used to say: "They that lack respect for themselves and throw themsleves away, get treaded upon".  Men also have had the right and capacity to walk down dark allies at night whenever and wherever they want to, with their posessions and valuables on display But prudence, reality and life experience suggests to them that it would be foolish to risk life, limb and property. to exercise that right.”

 “you dress like sluts but say “it doesn’t mean we’re sluts because we’re dressed that way” yes and you might be right but let me tell you, you are wearing the sluts uniform.”

“Behave like ladies, and maybe more men will behave like gentlemen.”

“Men will always be attracted to the slut outfit, especially when alcohol is involved…. blind freddie could understand that….. and I think these ladies do as well……”

 “Maybe a good rule of thumb could be - dont leave a bar or nightclub with someone you dont know dressed in little more than your underwear? that may help reduce sexual assaults. Dont invite trouble”

 “The same as when you run across a busy street instead of using a crossing increases your chances of getting hit by a tram or car. Furthermore, when they get drunk and involve themsleves with men (whether it be ina nightclub or back at his place) they are further highening their chances that something will occur. Some men have a predisponsition to commiting these acts (criminal acts) and this is far increased when they are with a woman in slutty clothes, taking drugs or alcohol, and flirting and fooling around. They need to take some responsibility for their own actions.”

 “if you are a woman who dresses skimpily, your chances of being a victim are increased. As a society, we can blame the rapist till the cows come home but that is not going to help the person who has been raped. The best way to ensure you don’t become a victim in the world in which i live, is to not draw attention to yourself. Responsibility for oneself is also essential to ensure you don’t become a victim.”

If you want a real example of rape apology, I suggest you read what feminist Mary Koss—consultant for the CDC’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey’s definitions, and originator of the infamous “1 in 4 college women” rape statistic—has to say about male victims of female rapists. Quoting her:

"We acknowledge the inappropriateness of female verbal coercion and the legitimacy of male perceptions that they have had unwanted sex. Although men may sometimes sexually penetrate women when ambivalent about their own desires, these acts fail to meet legal definitions of rape that are based on penetration of the body of the victim.".

Ambivalent about their own desires? I suppose that comes across as more scholarly than saying, ‘dude, what’s wrong with you? You know you wanted it. You should be stoked that you got laid. Hi-5!’.

And this is not just a rad-fem attitude. If it was it wouldn’t have found its way into one of the US’s largest surveys of intimate partner and sexual violence. This is a core, mainstream cultural value that men are or should be incapable of refusing consent to sex. It’s not even victim-blaming; you need an acknowledged victim to engage in victim blaming.

That is institutional systemic rape apology: not just informing the attitudes of a few people within a culture, but informing research policy and law.

—  Karen Straughan; AKA: Girl Writes What (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymkwdf7XPKc).
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