Her name was Blythe Harris. She had tweeted me saying she had some ideas for my next book.

“Cool, Blythe, thanks!” I replied. In an attempt to connect with readers, I’d been asking Twitter for ideas – “The weirdest thing you can think of!” – promising to try to incorporate them in the sequel.

Curious to see if Blythe had read my book, I clicked from her Twitter through her blog and her Goodreads page. She had given it one star. “Meh,” I thought. I scrolled down her review.

“Fuck this,” it said. “I think this book is awfully written and offensive; its execution in regards to all aspects is horrible and honestly, nonexistent.”

Blythe went on to warn other readers that my characters were rape apologists and slut-shamers. She accused my book of mocking everything from domestic abuse to PTSD. “I can say with utmost certainty that this is one of the worst books I’ve read this year,” she said, “maybe my life.”

Other commenters joined in to say they’d been thinking of reading my book, but now wouldn’t. Or they’d liked it, but could see where Blythe was coming from, and would reduce their ratings.

“Rape is brushed off as if it is nothing,” Blythe explained to one commenter. “PTSD is referred to insensitively; domestic abuse is the punch line of a joke, as is mental illness.”

“But there isn’t rape in my book,” I thought. I racked my brain, trying to see where I had gone wrong. I wished I could magically transform all the copies being printed with a quick swish of my little red pen. (“Not to make fun of PTSD, or anything,” I might add to one character’s comment. “Because that would be wrong.”)

At the bottom of the page, Goodreads had issued the following directive (if you are signed in as an author, it appears after every bad review of a book you’ve written): “We really, really (really!) don’t think you should comment on this review, even to thank the reviewer. If you think this review is against our Review Guidelines, please flag it to bring it to our attention. Keep in mind that if this is a review of the book, even one including factual errors, we generally will not remove it.

“If you still feel you must leave a comment, click ‘Accept and Continue’ below to proceed (but again, we don’t recommend it).”

I would soon learn why.

After listening to me yammer on about the Goodreads review, my mother sent me a link to a website called stopthegrbullies.com, or STGRB. Blythe appeared on a page called Badly Behaving Goodreaders, an allusion to Badly Behaving Authors. BBAs, Athena Parker, a co-founder of STGRB, told me, are “usually authors who [have] unknowingly broken some ‘rule’”. Once an author is labelled a BBA, his or her book is unofficially blacklisted by the book-blogging community.

In my case, I became a BBA by writing about issues such as PTSD, sex and deer hunting without moralising on these topics. (Other authors have become BBAs for: doing nothing, tweeting their dislike of snarky reviews, supporting other BBAs.)

“Blythe was involved in an [online] attack on a 14-year-old girl back in May 2012,” Parker said. The teenager had written a glowing review of a book Blythe hated, obliquely referencing Blythe’s hatred for it: “Dear Haters,” the review read. “Everyone has his or her own personal opinion, but expressing that through profanity is not the answer. Supposedly, this person is an English teacher at a middle school near where I lived… People can get hurt,” the review concluded.

In response, Blythe rallied her followers. Adults began flooding the girl’s thread, saying, among other things, “Fuck you.”

It turned out that Parker and her co-founders were not the only ones to have run into trouble with Blythe. An editor friend encouraged me to get in touch with other authors she knew who had been negatively reviewed by her. Only one agreed to talk, under condition of anonymity.

I’ll call her Patricia Winston.

“You know her, too?” I Gchatted Patricia.

She responded – “Omg” – and immediately took our conversation off the record.

“DO NOT ENGAGE,” she implored me. “You’ll make yourself look bad, and she’ll ruin you.”

anonymous said:

George Will, who wrote an article that basically said that victims have a privilege on college campuses and basically just said rape culture isn't real, is being paid to speak at my college tomorrow and there's a protest against it so that's cool.

Ugh yeah because in places like idk college campuses where rape is a huge problem it’s definitely a great idea to have a rape apologist come speak about how rape culture isn’t real.

anonymous said:

Did they seriously just victim blame Dolores in Lolita? He preyed on her the minute he laid his eyes on her under the sprinklers. He raped her, he didn't even tell her that her mother was dead until after he sexually assaulted her i saw that garbage film it's fucking sick. I tear it apart whenever some pedophile apologist tries to glorify it as anything other then the rape of a child.

i know omfg. I do *not* give a fuck about the child’s personality, a minor is never in control of a sexual or romantic situation with an adult.

not to mention he would steal her money so she couldn’t leave the situation. 

to be honest i am fucking sick and tired of people romanticizing lolita. romanticizing lolita is glorifying rape. period.

rape apologists can suck my ass.


Not sure why this is not something that is being talked about in the feminist community, but let me explain why this is kind of a big fucking issue. No matter how much you disagree with this guy, his blatant misogyny and hatred towards feminist, or how you’d rather just ignore his videos and not give him the attention he craves. The fact is he has over 500,000 Subscribers. And his videos garner a lot of attention, see that one titled “Tumblr Feminists”? over half a million views.

This matters because this is the image that we now have in popular culture. And guess who is choosing that image for us? This guy, would be a good example. The worst part is he knows close to nothing about what true feminism even means. He dissects the most easily attackable comments from websites and labels them as “shit feminist say”. Image matters people. If we don’t want people to discredit us the moment they know we are feminist, we can’t just ignore the men who are creating that image for us. Because let’s face it, it benefits them. It benefits them to convince 500,000+ people that we are the enemy, and that they have every right to hate us(even if that hatred is based in ignorance). 

I am not the most eloquent speaker(writing is one thing, speaking is another). English isn’t even my first language. So what I’m proposing is that someone out there who is passionate about our representation in the media , and has a radical stance on gender DEBATE THIS GUY. He apparently has no issue participating in debates about religion, so why wouldn’t feminism be up for debate?

And if debating is too personal for you, create video responses to these anti-feminist videos(because we all know how silly it is to try to have a serious debate in the black hole that is youtube comments). We are under represented in social media and we are paying very greatly for it.

****Edit so people will notice it**** Here is *my* response to being asked by TheAmazingAthiest to debate him myself.

Although I do desire visual representation of feminist terms not defined by you I find that personally text would be easier for me to hold you accountable. I do not have patience for some of your methods real time, those methods being things like straw men fallacies that misrepresent arguments so that you may have an easier time attacking them. For example, your hand picked selection of low I.Q. youtube/tumblr comments that you parade as the ideology itself and use these irrelevant tid-bits to imply that the fundamentals of the movement are without merit. This pseudo-intellectual approach is perverse in creating an unbiased dialogue while seeming legitimate. 

I see a lot in your videos you appropriating the imagery of feminism itself with reactionary rhetoric to the movement. In your “women are not smart” video (@4:12) you even suggest that misogyny itself is an effect of feminism, and that feminism is the cause because of your inability to separate tumblr rhetoric from the ideology’s true aim to dismantle the current state of mainstream masculinity conditioning that is statistically in need of recalibration. 

When you get on your soapbox and misrepresent misrepresentations of the ideology, not only are you not even talking about what feminism actually means, you are condemning the work of many sociologist to be equivalent to the hate seen in social media like youtube comments or unenlightened tumblr activists and that goes on to become the imagery associated with the definition of feminism that you seem to only understand 2nd hand. What you are actually doing is critiquing pockets of culture under the guise of feminism for the sake of political intrigue/self promotion(view$ ((p.s. you are welcome for the publicity)) while not actually talking about feminism. These are some of my main contentions with what you are doing. 

 Here is how the ideology is relevant despite it’s distortions;

 The conditioning of mainstream ethos is recursive in nature. Meaning what the public deems acceptable and what people can do without losing status is textbook operative conditioning. A science that is effecting the systems in place whether you acknowledge it or not. This is why elements of radical feminism are necessary to counter act the complacency in the bystander of sexism, because ultimately societal values are arbitrary and we are making an effort to condition the conscious compass away from the conditioning that becomes unconscious in the layman. 

For this premise to be without merit, you will have to make a case that sexism doesn’t exist, how anarchy is relevant/it is not in our best interest to be conscious of the systems we implement in society and the far reaching effects of their conditioning. If this process of ideological integration was futile, then we would be still be seeing a level of racism that previously existed, but we don’t because progress happens through this very process I have just enumerated. 

  • Western Patriarchy:A woman wearing revealing clothing is just asking to be raped. If she hadn't worn that short skirt out in public, she wouldn't have been assaulted. It's her fault for dressing like a slut and then trusting men not to treat her like one.
  • Western Patriarchy:Women who wear religious head coverings and hide their skin in public are so oppressed! It's not like she's going to get raped just because a man sees her ankles or neck! Why don't those women stop covering their bodies and just learn to trust men?

Here’s the thing. I don’t believe most men do go through life resisting the temptation to rape women, because I don’t believe all men are rapists. When men tell me that women are partly responsible for rape which men perpetrate because of xyz boring so-called heresy-rape-apology, when men use words like “temptation” as if they deserve some sort of gold medal for being strong enough and good enough not to rape a woman, I look round nervously to check that I’m not completely alone with that guy. Because rapists don’t tell you they’re rapists before they rape you, but they sometimes give you clues, by expressing their views about women and rape.

The sort of men who think women are “temptations”, rather than human beings, have the same attitudes to women as rapists do. The sort of men who believe women are partly responsible for rape because men can’t be held responsible for their own behaviour, have the same attitudes to their own behaviour as rapists do. So when men say or write stuff that makes them sound like rapists, women are justified in consigning that man to the “never be alone in the same space with” corner. Because women know that if it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, it might just be a duck. It might not, but women can’t afford to take the chance. So men, here’s a tip: try not to quack like a duck lest women mistake you for one.

Dean Saxton aka Brother Dean, aka the self proclaimed open air preacher who threatens campus women that they deserved to be raped

While campus officials repeatedly refuse to address why this guy is allowed to harass students at the University of Arizona at Tuscon, other than to have a spokeswoman say they do not condone him, I encourage anyone with time to visit www.arizona.edu and demand the university administration remove him from campus because he is threatening young women in a place they should be safe. He has been arrested twice for his harassment, but is still somehow allowed to carry on his protest of women.

Mosy recently brought fifteen minutes of shame by an ill planned Vice Magazine video, Saxton is finally being brought to light for his immoral and heinous protests, most recently protesting the showing of Brave Miss World, a rape survivor documentary, by wearing a sign proclaiming “Forgive Rapists”

He has coined the term “sororistute”, and claims women who attend college and are in sororities are prostitutes who desserve rape. He wears a shirt that proclaims yoga pants deserve rape. Basically, he believes any normal behavior, from a woman drinking, to walking atound campus, to wearing shorts, to attending a rape awareness lecture; denotes that the woman should justifiably endure the most heinous crime known to humanity. He has one friend, Sarah, who agrees with his sentiments, on the Vice shamecumentary recently released.

This guy, who has been arrested twice, screams at women on campus “you deserve to be raped”. If that is not harassment and threatening behavior, I don’t know what is. We need to get the word out, not just because he’s getting media attention, but because this sociopath actually believes he is spreading “the word of God” by telling women they are sluts, prostitutes, and for being attractive/alive/in a university that should be protecting them from him but isn’t, they deserve to be raped. Spread this atound tumblr and get his face and his crimes out there so women can be prepared and hopefully prevent him from acting on his threats.

The University of Arizona is not preventing him from harassing and threatening women on campus.

Despite being arrested twice, he continues to harass and threaten women.

University of Arizona maing page:

If you want to tweet “Brother Dean”

Trigger Warning:
His website.

Thank you to everyone who has been spreading this across tumblr. Hopefully more and more people will contact the University of Arizona and get Sexton prevented from continuing his twrrorizing innocent women. I am sad to see that some people are threatening him physical harm, and even rape; that is not the goal or intent of my message. Rape is never acceptable, not as revenge, not for vindication against someone like Sexton who supports raping women, nothing. That is the opposite of the goal of my message. We don’t prevent rape by condoning raping anyone. He may be a monsterous pig, but he does not deserve to be raped. Thanks again for continuing to share this message. And I hope eventually women will no longer be victimized, shamed and threatened by him.

While reporting on the verdict and sentencing of the two Steubenville rapists, the CNN news personalities told us repeatedly how difficult it was to watch these boy’s lives being destroyed. How their crime will haunt them.

These criminals destroyed their own lives, when they decided to repeatedly rape an incapacitated girl. When they decided to film and share their horrific crime.

Not once did CNN mention the person whose life was most destroyed by their crime, who will also be haunted for life by their crime… their victim. The young girl who they violated and raped.

Not once while they discussed the pain and humiliation these vicious and cruel criminals now face, did they acknowledge that her life was also destroyed, by them. That she would have to carry around the pain, humiliation, self doubt and self loathing, the stigma of rape, for the rest of her life. Not once did the CNN pundits mention the pain and humiliation these criminals repeatedly inflicted on their victim.

Not once.

The media, and it’s personalities have a huge rule to play in shaping public opinion and public perception. With that role comes an equall responsibility to ensure they use that role for the good of society.

CNN’s coverage of that story failed to meet that responsibility. Failed miserably. The on air personalities did nothing more than promulgate rape culture in America. A culture that leads to someone being raped or sexually assaulted every two minutes.

Every Two Minutes.

CNN, We are sure the 97% of rapists who will never spend a day in jail appreciated your sympathetic coverage of these two criminals.

The rest of us did not. We demand an on air apology for your disgustingly biased coverage. Further, we demand that you use your position as a premier news network to focus on changing rape culture in America. Devote an hour long, prime time segment to rape, it’s victims, what can be done to prevent it, and how to change the culture that gives rise to this violent crime.

Men, why do you so vehemently defend your desire to have sex with unresponsive women?

Why is it that this comes up so much? What is it about having sex with a semi-unconscious woman that’s so damn appealing? What is it about having sex with a woman who won’t remember who you are the next day, or her memories of her experience with you are vague and non-specific?

—  From “Let’s talk about drunk women and sex" at Defeating the Dragons
I don’t think women can really call any sex they have “rape.” Sex isn’t theirs to withhold. They owe it to mankind.
—  Senior Computer Science Major
Out of 100 rapes that happen in America, only 47 are reported, 12 of those reported lead to an arrest, 9 get prosecuted, 5 of those lead to a felony conviction, and only 3 rapists will even spend a day in prison, according to RAINN. Those are some scary statistics for a country that swears up and down it doesn’t have a problem with rape culture. It’s no wonder with numbers as pathetic as these why so many women never come forward about their sexual assaults in the first place. It also explains why the women that do come forward are striving to right a terrible, irreversible wrong. One that most certainly happened.

I once had my stepdad of ten years tell me — during a debate about statutory rape laws — that “if there’s grass on the field, [a guy should be able to] play ball.” That that was proof enough of a girl’s sexual maturity. I replied that I had first started getting pubes around 10 or 11 — around the time he had first met me, in fact. He paled. A fifty-year-old man, for fuck’s sake, completely clueless. THIS is why we need sex ed in schools.

(submitted by anonymous)