anonymous asked:

As a male who has read several Radical Feminist blogs on this site but you are the first one that said men were free to follow and ask I am wondering: what do i do with all this information? how do i be an effective ally?

Don’t speak over women. 
Listen and learn, believe women’s experiences are real, valid and important.
Work on yourself first. Unlearn misogyny & racism, learn how they, and other issues, intersect.
Call out men, it’s not your place to call women out. 
Never stop learning, researching, keeping up to date with issues. Listen to what women are saying. There is a feminist perspective on almost everything. Follow lots of radfem blogs (if they are okay with men following) and listen to them. 
Get involved in organisations/events that will help a cause, but know your place.
Uplift women’s voices when the issue effects women, uplift the voices of people of colour when the issues effect POC, etc. 

Don’t stay silent when you see an oppressed person or group being mistreated. As someone in a place of privilege, you can make an impact. Even in feminist groups, people listen to my partner more than they listen to me, and give him more praise, because he’s male. You can do a lot of good because people will listen to you. A lot of that should be telling them to listen to what women are saying.

And lastly, understand that the title of feminist isn’t yours. I’m glad you used ‘ally’ instead, but just know that many women don’t consider men allies at all. I do if they have earned it. No sooner. 

If only men cared as much about how women are treated by men, rather than  how women react as a result of said treatment. 

Treat a woman like shit, dismiss her, silence her, talk over her, patronize her, demonize her, trample all over her and no one bats an eye lash. 

But how dare a woman express her anger and say she hates men. How dare a black person express their anger and say they hate white people. How dare a poor, struggling, vulnerable or underprivileged person express their hatred of the rich. 

How dare anyone mention how much they hate their oppressors. That’s just… not on, man!

anonymous asked:

Hi, I just wanted your opinions on the term DFAB, it's become our official term in my college's feminist group for being born female and I really want to object to it but I don't know how to phrase it. My main issue is that it makes no sense - by whom was I 'designated' female? God, or nature? That's like saying I was 'designated human at birth' - no, I was just born this way, no one decided on it. It makes me angry because it makes my femaleness sound almost trivial, rather than serious reality

i think that’s a good way to put it. we are not designated female, we are female. it’s not something that a doctor decided for us, such in the case of intersex people. it’s used to mask the fact that yes, trans people ARE the sex the were born with: male or female. and that sex is unchangeable. 

-haley

Feminism is such an embarrassment I don’t even want to be a woman anymore. I met a man who was absolutely terrified of me because of a shitty experience with his feminist ex. He got out of the pool when I got in, apologizing profusely and I just.. ugh. I don’t even know. He was apologizing because he looked at me. Literally, that was it. I got him to calm out a bit but the poor guy was tripping all over his words… I can only imagine what kind of abuse he tolerated. I can’t believe this is the kind of society that feminists are trying to create.

☆Tonks

This one isn’t really white women-specific, but I’m going to include it because I’ve seen a lot of white feminists pull this shit and frankly it’s garbage.
Like, this is literally what you’re saying: “I believe women have agency and can make decisions about their lives except for when it has to do with sex work, at which point I will assume that either someone is exploiting them or else they are self-hating gender traitors only interested in the male gaze.”
So just to clarify, you think that women can make choices except when it’s a choice you disagree with, at which point you’re pretty sure she’s being coerced. You also think that sex workers need to be “rescued,” even if they’re happy with what they do. You would rather see women further marginalized by anti-prostitution laws than find ways to keep sex workers safe.
Again, explain to me how this is a pro-woman stance?

Some days I wear makeup and dresses and leave my hair down. Some days I don’t wear makeup and put my hair up and wear masculine clothing and a sports bra. Sometimes I have a deep voice, sometimes I have a high voice. Sometimes I take up a lot of space, sometimes I don’t. I’m loud or I’m quiet, but I’m ALWAYS a girl. None of those things are gendered.

women aren’t hated for being feminine, femininity is forced on us because we are hated. we don’t naturally apply make up, wear constricting clothing, shave our natural body hair and stay quiet even when we are upset with something. we are conditioned to do this because women are supposed to take up as little space as possible and erase traces of our growth both physically and mentally. women who refuse to perform femininity demand their space and they demand to be heard. they cannot be neutral in a highly gendered society; they are punished for not conforming.

Honestly though why does it matter if someone labels themselves as a feminist or not. If someone believes in & fights for equal rights then who the fuck cares. If you get upset that someone who fights for equal rights doesn’t label themselves as a feminist then it’s obvious you’re more concerned about labels than the actual issue.