I could really love you.
You know this already.
Not out of my brokenness but out
Of the wholeness I am finding to grow from me within me.
Does the sound of a real relationship
We’ve talked about this,
how any little commitment scares you.
I know you feel as though you have enough
On your plate , adding me to your life would only worsen that heaviness you carry? In your mind.
But you should know that
I want to help you carry
your weight, as I know you would help me carry mine..because YOU have already in so many ways.
But I will not force you to love me.
You said that yourself .
Love that is forced is not true love.
I’ve lived that way in the past.
I will not do to you what was done to me.
I will never force you to try to feel something for me.
Yet, I feel compelled to share this with you. Maybe as a final kiss.(I always say that;)
This may be the very last thing I share with you. I’ve said goodbye to you a million times, but this time, if you don’t realize these things and know these things by now, than I must , we must continue on walking our different paths completely .
I will NO longer give my body to someone who does not value my heart and soul as well.
Sorry, no more free samples . I’m not a dessert cart. I’m not a buffet table.
You don’t get to just pick and choose.
I am a whole package. You obviously enjoy the wrapping , but I’d like for you to equally value what’s inside.
Why? Because it goes against my truest core to respect myself. To value this temple, this body of mine.
My time and my brain must also be of value.
Life is far too short to not truly live and I want you to know these things , these thoughts I’ve held in my heart are for you.
The reasons why I fell for you;
1: The first time we met, our eyes
kissed. We both had the biggest smiles on our faces. There was an obvious attraction . We delight in each other .
2: The second time we met, we really poured into each other , we read each other’s hearts, thoughts and discovered and spoke of our dreams, shared our disappointments and what we wanted our futures to look like.
3: Every time I’m with you, I’m that much closer to the sea, and you know that’s where I belong . That’s important to me.You fell for the mermaid in me, I fell for the ocean and depth you carry. I dove into you, and you dove into me.
We swam in each other and we were refreshed .
4: The next time we met, there was a deep longing shared. There were no words between us. Not much. You just held me, there ,safely you held me in your strong embrace , my ear to your beating heart . No words were spoken except the sounds of our hearts speaking to one another. I remember how you kept smelling my hair and saying how good I smelled.
I said, ” That’s what happens when you take a shower ,” We giggled. We embraced for what seemed an eternity .
I hadn’t felt that quiet and at peace in a very long time. I felt safe.(Can I just say that your skin is AMAZING! I mean, for a man! Your skin is absolute perfection..) Anyhow..
Sorry, getting back on track again.;)
5: We looked out into the ocean in front of us. I could see that behind your smiles , you had experienced your own suffering , your own pains. When I was sharing my hurts, my own suffering ,you starred into my soul with great compassion and intensity. You saw my darkness and you weren’t overcome nor surprised by it. Your presence comforts me. My soul feels understood by you.
I believe I understand yours as well .
6: We really need to stop meeting this way.
If you don’t know by now that I am worth your time, then I will have to say with great regret,
It will truly be a great loss for the both of us.
Just be truthful with me. Let me know if I am wasting our time.
All we can truly give each other at this moment is truth. As a woman, I need this from you.
I no longer want to be taken advantage of from anyone. I have too much good to offer , and I want to offer myself wholly, not half heartedly .