I am the shy girl
At the party
The one who smiles
And gingerly holds
the brimming red cup
But is careful not to drink
Because mommy always warned
Of what the troubled boys do
To the girls with the tight skirts
Who didn’t know
or care
About how much
They could handle

And I’m the girl
Who’s awake in class.
The one the kids call
perfect
With curled lips
And side-glanced giggles
Because everyone knows
That if you aren’t good for a laugh or looks,
Then you aren’t worth dirt in the school yard.

And I’m the girl
Who has lived a thousand lives
In a thousand different places and times
Because I can lose myself in literature
Because I love to know that I’m not the only one who feels
alone
lost
or troubled.
Not the only one
who longs
for a love
that goes beyond
a piece of paper
or a ring.

And I’m the girl
Who finds comfort
In a melody
Of any sort
Not for the catchy tune
Or the pretty boy band
No
I like to listen
Not to hear
Listen to the raging thoughts,
The powerful feelings
Spoken like poetry
With a message
Just beneath the rhymes
Because ultimately
In the dead of night
When the screaming starts
Or the thumping
drums
against the floor
and the walls,
Distraction
becomes the only option
To halt the bank of tears
And cool the boiling blooding
If only for a short time
Before mother dearest can burst in
And hold me tight
As she whispers her own melody
Echoing through
the silence of the night

I just can’t do this anymore

Over

And over

And over


And I’m the girl
who would never
Ever
try to hurt you.
Because I’d been raised
In a domestic battlefield
Where all of my happiest moments
Were often punctured
by the ugly loaded words
that spilled like a faucet
out of the drunken beast
Who often overpowered
My lowly father

And I know
Only too well
That when liquor’s seductive lips
Touch the mind of a susceptible man
She will hold him tight
And whisper her thoughts of power
and malice
And he
Being a simple man
Will become slave to her demonic
Willpower
And nothing will change the minds of the demons in his head
And his heart
Not even the one
he claims
to love
Because everyone knows
That the fragile marriage vow
Is the very easiest
To break

And still
I am the girl
The shy girl at the party
The one you glanced across the room
The one you talked to the whole night
I’m sorry
I didn’t answer
your questions
You see

I don’t have a choice of music
Which I like above the rest,
And I thought boys like you don’t go
For girls who value books and tests
I hated that look
You know, the one you gave me?
When I refused to drink
And you assumed
I didn’t trust you
But you didn’t know
of course you didn’t
Of all the reasons
going through my mind

I’m so sorry
That I cant explain myself
With words
The way I can
On paper

I’m sorry
That you left
Looking so hurt

Because if I never am to see you again
Please remember me
As the girl
Who would try her hardest
to love you

If only

I had the courage

To tell you.

.
.
.

I’m sorry.

—  Anonymous
People today have forgotten they’re really just a part of nature. Yet, they destroy the nature on which our lives depend. They always think they can make something better. Especially scientists. They may be smart, but most don’t understand the heart of nature. They only invent things that, in the end, make people unhappy. Yet they’re so proud of their inventions. What’s worse, most people are, too. They view them as if they were miracles. They worship them. They don’t know it, but they’re losing nature. They don’t see that they’re going to perish. The most important things for human beings are clean air and clean water.