I. Sometimes I am awake at 4 am praying to a god that I watched fall before my eyes and I make myself believe that the calm I feel is his doing and not my own.
II. The future scares me. And not because the future itself is a variable, but because patterns change. I can feel the sequences breaking apart and I know now the past is a variable as well.
III. You make me sweat. And it used to be from the warmth you fed my lonely soul, but now it is 4:22 and I am shivering beyond control and I wonder who will chisel the ice inside me with pick and ax. My teeth hurt from trying to speak through the chill; you, too, were a god.
IV. The color gray is beautiful. You see, light did not know what to be, so it decided to be every color all at once. I feel inside me the monochrome, and as the storm clouds approach from a horizon I wish not to travel beyond I am once again soaked to the bone.
V. Heaven help me, I still love you.